Mel's Way or No Way

The Ramblings of a Foggy Brain

2012-02-16T01:07:00.001-06:00

The time just keeps creeping by me. Another Valentine's day come and gone. Really though, I have to say that I'm so spoiled that A does everything in her power to make me feel special everyday. My feelings for and dependence on her are so overpowering sometimes.

Several weeks ago she asked what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go to celebrate. My choice was to have dinner at home and I made her promise no flowers or candy. We already exchanged gifts a couple weeks ago. I had the day off from work but unfortunately A got stuck at work late so when she came home she asked; "How much is your heart set on lobster tonight? I'm too tired to cook."

No problem here...I settled for a V-day dinner of pizza and then some messing around. The lobster tails are still in the fridge. No worries though, this weekend is supposed to be nice enough that she can grill them. Mmmmmm.....

I've been in such a weird, foggy state of mind the last month. Sitting around kind of duh-looking (is they even a description?). I've hardly picked up my camera and can't seem to focus on getting anything done. I finally broke down and bought a Kindle. I didn't think I would enjoy reading on it as much as I have. That's one of the things that lead to my foggy state of mind. If I'm into a story, everything else disappears. I was thinking that I really should just copy my emails to Sarcastic Bastard here and be done with it. Those emails tell the tale of my life these days. I guess that my need to write gets satisfied there. Ah, how I love that woman!...or my "soul sister" as I affectionately refer to her.

Last week started out with an evil boss and a lost puppy I found in the middle of a deserted country road (he wasn't hurt and later reunited with his owners). Then Wednesday I got a call from my mom to tell me an ex had died. He and I dated on-and-off for a year or so. Our personalities never did fit, we couldn't get along and basically had a "fight-or-fuck" relationship. Very unhealthy and dysfunctional and I broke it off when I came to the realization that I was only repeating the patterns of my parents and found myself morphing into a person I didn't like.

Anyway he was only 39 (just turned at the end of December) and the obituary said he died in his home. Yeah the small-town rumor mill was running full force that he had committed suicide. We had vaguely kept in contact through the years but it had been over a year since I talked to him last even though he lived only 6 miles from me.

Mom and I went to the wake Friday night and even though it's sad when someone so young passes, I was relieved to talk to his family and find out it was "natural causes". He had been diagnosed with an enlarged heart recently, had a heart attack in his home and was dead by the time the ambulance arrived. At the wake I saw a lot of people I haven't seen in years and we visited and shared memories with family and friends. The worst part was dealing with my mom who is so high drama about everything. I listened to her and tried to be patient but when we were standing in line at the funeral home and she turns and says to me in that accusing tone; "Mel, don't you feel anything?! Do you even care that he died." Ugh! That was when I had it with her! Just because I don't bawl and blubber for the whole world to see. *rolls eyes*

The whole experience did color my mood the rest of the weekend. I was discussing with A the realization at how much I compartmentalize my memories. It seems that when I'm finished with a chapter in my life, I shut those memories away and just don't think about them anymore. Most of my memories these days start when A entered my life because that's the chapter I'm in right now. Having to open the chapter from that part of my life just threw me for a loop. I don't know if I'm even describing this in any way that makes sense but I suppose it's a very unhealthy way of dealing with things. I bet it will back up on me someday and I'll end up on the shrink's couch. :)

A and I spent the whole day together Saturday in Minneapolis at the RV show. We're not in the market for buying but love to go see what's new on the market. When the time comes to upgrade I highly doubt we will be buying anything new anyway but will have a really good idea of what options/layout we want. Last year we spent the day looking in EVERY motorhome, 5th wheel, trailer and pop-up there. This year we focused.

Here's A looking pretty bad-ass behind the wheel of a big Class A motorcoach. (Actually I think this pic caught her off guard).

It satisfied the need we are both having to bring our little RV home. We have definite plans to finish painting the interior and some other minor upgrades. We already are planning trips; heading to visit my brother early June and back out to the Black Hills in South Dakota and Wyoming at the end of September.

So I guess once I got writing, I seemed to have overcome my block...who knew! We added 2 members to our ballooning family since the start of 2012. I adopted Cassie in early January and A adopted LuLu in early February.

Cassie

LuLu

Popper and Jill we will make official later this year I'm sure. That will put us at 8...the pack of eight that is such a great balance. I know, I know there are some rolling their eyes...

3.5 days in Vegas Equals 1 Week of Recovery

2012-01-31T00:25:00.000-06:00

Seriously, this getting older crap just isn't fair! Between Vegas hangover and fighting a cold, Monday was the first day I finally started to feel like myself again.

The Thursday morning we left I got up at 3am and A dropped me off on her way to work to catch my ride to the airport. Friday morning when I finally crawled in bed, I called her and she was up getting ready for work again. I had yet to go to sleep!

We danced and danced every night. There are no photos but the dried blisters on my feet tell a different tale. Fun, fun times! Those heels where so worth the pain.

The one thing about Vegas is there is never a reason to be bored. You don't even have to spend a lot. There's so much to see or just find a cool bar and hang out enjoying the DJ or band. The hotel gave us free tickets to the comedy show one night. I didn't gamble even 1 penny.

Hanging out with Little Elvis on The Strip.

Dueling pianos at NY-NY. They were great and I was crushing on the guy on the left all afternoon.

New York, New York skyline.

I got to meet MJ after the Legends Show at the Harrah. Good god I look like I've been awake 24 hours in this picture. Would you believe we went dancing after this?

Five years ago I rode the bull at Gilley's.

He was still there waiting but I left the riding up to others this time.

Instead I hung out on their saddle bar stools and enjoyed their awesome spicy Bloody Marys.

The gals of Crazy Girls outside the Rivera.

Friday evening we went downtown to Fremont Street for some old Vegas fun. It's like a big street party down there every night.

Buffet at the Golden Nugget.

We watched the show on the screen overhead. I met this great (and oddly soft-spoken) Gene Simmons look alike. Gene and I share the same quirky phobias. I think it's possible I'm a long lost daughter.

We rode the zip-line down the length of Fremont.

And no I did not eat here before or after climbing a 65 foot tower to zip-line. I only stopped to snap a quick photo.

There was a little girly office drama, but mostly I just tried to stay out of it and not let it color my experience. The only thing that would have made the trip better was if A had been there with me. When we landed in Minneapolis Sunday, all I could think was how happy I was to be home with her. I've said it before and I'll say it again: the best part of vacation for me is coming home.

32 Hours

2012-01-17T23:55:00.000-06:00

Do you ever feel like your life is full-steam ahead and you're just stumbling along trying to keep up? That is the position I 'm finding myself in these days. I truly thought that by January my schedule would slow but things that were once months away are now the day after tomorrow; 32 hours until takeoff.

That's right Las Vegas baby!

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving one of my doctors sent out an IM on our inter-office message system; "At 1pm we need all employees to meet in the breakroom. We have important news and it affects everyone in the office." Holy shit! We were freaking out ALL morning!

At 1pm we all gather with butterflies in our stomachs and dreading whatever news they have. Instead they drop the bomb on us--Las Vegas for our Christmas party! Yep, 10 gals, 2 docs and their wives for 4 days of whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. The only bummer is that A won't be there to share it with me.

Of course this news required weeks of heavy duty shopping and outfit planning. Yes, I have done several suitcase packing trials because I'm admittedly high-maintanence and didn't know if I could fit it all into a carry-on. I have a few events planned but otherwise I'm flying free for 4 days and see where I end up. There will definitely be many pictures. A has already given me strict orders to "cut loose". God I hope I don't end up on that reality show "Las Vegas Jailhouse" but if I do I will be sure to get an autograph from the petite, blonde corrections officer, Nicole Sittre'. A has a crush on her...even if she won't admit it. :)

I spent the whole day in my PJs.

2012-01-01T16:22:00.001-06:00

What a great start to 2012.

Our original plan for January 1st was some much needed grocery shopping and running a few errands. We got up late and had brunch. A went out to pick up her newspaper from the front porch and settled in her favorite chair to read. I was mindlessly staring at the TV when she asked "Do you REALLY want to go shopping today?" I took one glance out the window at the snow flurries and listened to the howling north wind and decided I was more than happy to stay home. After all we had already traversed the icy unplowed roads last night. I almost hate to write how mild our Minnesota winter has been so far; hardly any snow and temperatures in the 40s. But New Year's eve some winter arrived to remind us and I know how dearly we are going to pay for this pleasant weather.

A decided that today was perfect to make soup and Ms. Moon's Angel biscuits too. For the recipe, check it out HERE. As A says so poetically, "These are the best damn biscuits I've ever had!" After all her labor in the kitchen, I was more than happy to sit around in my PJs eating soup and biscuits all day. It's a carb-lovers dream.

We joined Faye and JK to ring in the new year. JK was on duty performing as Elvis. The crowd was older and not too rowdy. The good thing about hanging in a small suburban bar is the cheap drinks; 2 for 1 drinks until 10pm. I got a pretty good buzz for under $10. At one point (and to be a smart ass I'm sure) A brought over a Long Island Iced tea. One sip and my stomach remembered my trip on the Long Island expressway last January. *gag* NEVER again!

Even though it wasn't the most exciting night ever, I'm grateful that I got to spend the evening in the company of great friends and my love. At midnight I happily raised my glass of champagne and gave A a huge kiss. Welcome 2012.

On our way out, A snapped a quick picture of me with my new camera bag/purse. This one is for you Mark.

I love the fact it looks like any one of my many other purses. In fact when we arrived Faye immediately started to admire it. She appreciates a new purse as much as I do. And in case you're wondering why I'm carrying around a blue octopus, let me introduce you to Tako.

He's been traveling around the country visiting Japanese Chin households and just arrived Saturday from Canada for a short visit. In a week or so I'll add photos to his memory book and then mail him off.

December Review: It's all over except the indigestion.

2011-12-26T21:56:00.001-06:00

I think I started my after holiday post something like this last year. If you feel like you're suffering from deja vu, you likely are because I am too. I stepped on the scale this morning and braced myself for the number. I was shocked to see I've managed to hover in the same 2-3 pound range this entire season of over-eating. Still I just feel like crap; too much sugar and junk food takes its toll.

A and I just returned home and settled in from our last family holiday celebration. It feels like it was just Thanksgiving and the past month has been nothing but a blur of activity. I'm not complaining though. It's been a good month. A and I have felt more in the spirit than many years past. Even through all the running here and there, we always manage to have a good time. I never have as much fun as when A is at my side...or goofing off in front of the camera.

We decorated both inside and outside the house. Gone are the horrid inflatable snowman and penguins of years past and A has been replacing them with the retro plastic decorations. She finally added a snowman, but I think she's most proud of Santa in his sleigh.

Earlier this month our foster pup, Shecky, was adopted to a home in Illinois. He lived with us for 4 months.

As far as puppies go, he was pretty sedate and a great cuddlier but we were happy to see him move onto a forever home. That of course didn't stop me from crying most of the 5 hour drive to Madison, Wisconsin and back; questioning if I'm really cut out to be a foster and asking myself how many more times can I upset myself like this. By the time I got home, Shecky had arrived at his new home and I had an email waiting from his new mama. It was love at first sight and I know he's now spoiled beyond belief. That makes the tears worth it.

I spent 2 weekends as a volunteer for our rescue taking pet photos with Santa at PetSmart. A came along one day as Santa's dedicated Elf.

It's a great fund-raiser; they supply all the equipment and then give us 50% for every photo. I was really excited about it and had so much fun! There's no doubt that there is work involved and I have a lot of respect for the professionals who do it everyday...pets or kids. Overall most pet-parents were great (with the exception of one lady who thought it was her own personal photo shoot) and we successfully got a good picture of every pet we tried. We even had some chins show up that were adopted through our rescue.

A and I spent Christmas Eve with our dear friends, JK and Faye, eating a drinking entirely too much. Christmas morning we slept late and when the dogs finally convinced us to get up, we turned on the TV to the Yule Log and drank mimosas with breakfast.

Later we hosted dinner for my mom and then today it was a celebration with A's family.

Since we were going to be so busy all weekend, it was easy to rationalize opening our gifts on the 23rd. This year A and I planned a low-key holiday but that usually doesn't apply when we're buying gifts for each other. I had my little list of things I would like to receive but A completely surprised my with 2 big gifts.

I have a love--weakness---addiction to purses. You can imagine how much I fell in love with these Kelly Moore bags at first sight. The amazing thing is that these are not purses but a line of camera bags designed by a photographer to NOT look like camera bags. There's a collection of different colors and styles but I just haven't been able to let myself spend the cash. I haven't mentioned or looked at these in months but A remembered and to my surprise picked out the exact bag in the exact color I wanted! It's that beautiful blue bag in the picture above. Then she surprised me again with a new camera lens. I feel truly grateful for having such a sweet and thoughtful person to share my life with...even if I did have to scold her a bit. I think she spoils me too much.

Sickly trees, snow and decorating disasters...the season is upon us.

2011-11-27T23:33:00.001-06:00

Free to good home: one sadly neglected ficus tree. I really think it could have a chance of survival living with someone who watered it regularly, rotated it to receive some better sunlight (and help it grow evenly), and I can't even remember the last time it was fertilized. Poor thing is probably root-bound in that pot. Included is the very stylish piece of cardboard to keep the dogs out of the dirt.

At this point, and in honor of the season, I think it may bear some resemblance to the famous Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I've been around. I'm a terrible blogger and a terrible commenter to boot. I know a lot of people take a hiatus this time of year. I often have the urge to write but by the time I can sit down either I've forgotten what I want to say or I'm just too damn tired. Sometimes I feel I've lost my voice here...like my writing sounds stiff and impersonal-not my real voice. Does that make sense? Well it is the early morning hours so just humor me if it doesn't. Okay I guess I will chat about what's going on around here.

A little over a week ago we had our first snow and I'm happy to report it was gone in a few days. It stuck around long enough to get my newest fosters out to experience it.

I know Shecky looks pathetic but it was the first snow of his life and within a few minutes he was running and rolling in the yard like a madman.

And Suzannah bucking and kicking in the snow...well what can I say about this wacky girl.

Thanksgiving was a quiet and stress-free affair. As A and I prepared dinner for my mom and her boyfriend, I realized that this is the first time in I don't know how many years that I actually feel in the mood for the holiday season.

But I guess if the Grinch's heart can grow 10xs, mine can expand just a little bit.
I even went out shopping on Black Friday for the first time ever. Yes, I was a Black Friday virgin. I admit it was a short shopping excursion; drive to the store, straight to the items on my list, cashier and back to the car. It wasn't too crazy at the speciality store I went to and well worth the trip to save $80 on the one item that A really wanted. I wisely avoided the craziness of Target, Walmart or Best Buy.

This past Saturday is traditionally when A starts decorating for Christmas. Here she is using tree parts as antlers and chasing the dogs. What can I say but I pretty much let her do anything to keep herself entertained.

A couple years ago I had to suffer through those horrendous inflatable decorations in my yard but last year, A started buying the retro blow-mold decorations. She found several in antique stores and at the flea market but this year they are back in fashion and can be purchased everywhere.
So meet Vernon the snowman.

Seat-belted in for safety on the way home from the store. I think he looks just a little psycho.

A proudly getting ready to put Vern out in the yard with Santa.

I have to admit that we both spent our Sunday feeling blue. After putting the tree together, A started looking for the lights to put on it. They were not in any of the boxes she had here. We have a small house and rent a storage unit about a mile away. We don't store anything of much value there; it's just a place to put the summer stuff in the winter and vice versa. A went there to double check and nothing. That's when we realized we were missing an entire container of decorations not just lights. We remembered that last winter A had found the lock cut off our unit 3 times. Each time she had looked around inside and didn't notice anything missing.

Who in the hell steals only a container with "X-Mas Decorations" written on it?! The heartbreaking part is that box contained sentimental, handmade and one of a kind ornaments; it was full of memories. Through our years together, A and I have given each other and collected ornaments when traveling or objects that symbolized special moments. There were ones I had an artist paint of the dogs and childhood ones that are simply irreplaceable. Every year we crack a bottle of wine, decorate the tree and reminisce. Not everything is gone since we had multiple containers but some of the most special items were in that box. For me this is devastating and even A shed a few angry tears.

I realize it's really not the end of the world-a lot worse things could happen, but it's hard for someone as sentimental as I am and I just had to spend a little time feeling sad. We did pick up a few new things when we were out shopping today and later this week when we finally decorate, we will crack a bottle of wine and toast to making some new memories. (Who am I trying to kid? I'm still damn pissed!)

Triggered

2011-11-10T23:28:00.001-06:00

I am a stress-induced emotional eater. I almost feel like I should be standing in front of a crowd. "Hello, my name is Mel. I have a stress eating problem".

Food is comfort and I of course love, love, LOVE carbs-bread is my absolute weakness. I have been doing well the last few months but Monday morning I was triggered. I woke up to sick dogs, a mess in the house, a mess on my bed from a dirty dog butt, no working dryer and 5 dogs that needed baths because they were such a mess. Aghhh!

When things had finally settled down, I innocently opened the freezer to get some ice and spotted it; that box of candy my mom had given us last spring. Trying to be good, I had shoved it in the freezer without opening it and all these months it has sat hidden from view behind bags of veggies. Monday I ripped into it and down the rabbit hole I fell. The carbs/sugars are like crack and I'm the biggest addict.

Lets see, 2 days home from work, multiple pots of coffee and gone one box of candy, a loaf of bread, frozen cookie dough, potato chips, animal crackers plus an unplanned trip to the grocery store to satisfy my craving for Pop-Tarts and chocolate-cherry ice cream. Now this is in addition to the wonderful cooking and "real" food that A cooks up around here.

And sadly the holiday season is not truly here yet. I better go make another cup of tea and try to convince myself that I really don't want just one more bowl of ice cream. What am I saying? Fuck the bowl, just eat it straight from the tub.

2011-11-08T23:53:00.002-06:00

It's my Monday tomorrow, blah! The more time I have away from the work, the less I want to go back. Please tell me that I get to retire when A does. I wasn't even surprised today when people at the office started texting me about office drama---seriously people, I haven't been there for 4-1/2 days!

Several months ago A and I were invited to spend this past weekend with friends at Grand Casino. They come from the north and us from the south; it is a nice meet-in-the-middle location. We made reservations then I realized I had to spend that Saturday at the University of MN for a continuing education class. I felt guilty but couldn't cancel since work was paying and I'm in need of credits-oh the joy of procrastination! A wanted to cancel her weekend but I encouraged her to go, hang out and have fun.

Saturday morning as I got ready to go into Minneapolis, I decided on a whim that after my class I would drive up and surprise A, have dinner and just spend a few hours. I mean it was only another hour north. I arrived in record time (thanks to my lead-foot) and texted her that I was in the parking lot-meet me in the hotel lobby. She was so surprised and excited. I just LOVE making her happy and it's really so simple to do.

I'm really not into gambling but A was playing poker and I watched over her shoulder and consulted. Otherwise I visited and people watched. My original plan was to spend a few hours then make the 2 hour drive home. A and the other ladies insisted I stay the night (and I admit I packed an overnight bag just in case). I have to say it was nice to spend the night in that big bed without any dogs. After a huge breakfast Sunday morning with my new favorite food-wild rice bread-we came home.

I'm glad I had the last two days at home even if they did fly and I didn't accomplish much. Just getting the dogs out to run in the yard was a treat and I dread the weeks--months we will spend closed up in this house. The early darkness is already starting to feel oppressive but the weather is still holding unseasonably warm. The weather man keeps saying rain/snow then changing his mind. I'm happy when he's wrong even though I know we can't keep winter away forever.

Getting Life in Order

2011-10-31T10:49:00.000-05:00

Well the Sears appliance repairman just left with a nice fat check from me. Parts are ordered and hopefully will arrive and be installed by the end of the week. Just as I thought, the dryer motor is dying. Yes, I did get laundry done this weekend. Luckily the laundromat is only 6 blocks away and A was right about one thing-she did have enough quarters. :))

All I can say is that things are just "off" in this household. My bad mood/irritation/pissed-off state persisted through Saturday. The thing is, it wasn't really the dryer that set things off. We've both just been "not-right" with each other the last few weeks; you know snappy and moody and intolerant. The thing is when you ask what's wrong, it's not one thing you can really put your finger on. I know for me, A may say something in a completely innocent way and I take it personally. By Sunday we had both calmed down and become reasonable enough to have a real conversation with each other. Bonus, nothing negative between us all day Sunday.

Between all the crap I can say we did have a pretty nice and productive weekend. After sleeping on Betty's bed during my petsitting gig, I had completely fallen in love with the mattress, so last weekend I took A shopping. We were able to agree on one and it was delivered Friday evening. Can I say absolute heaven! OMG, I could barely make it out of bed I was so comfy all weekend. I may have to consider moving the computer, TV and appliances in the bedroom so I don't have to get out of bed again.

We arranged furniture, got our guest room in order, finished up the last of the fall yard work and finally (and with great sadness) put the RV in storage. The cold north wind was blowing and we had snow flurries while driving home. I shouldn't really complain about that though...just be thankful I'm not living on the east coast.

Happy Monday...and Happy Halloween!

This time A pissed me off...and I'm still irritated.

2011-10-28T00:10:00.001-05:00

Tonight I walked out of the kitchen into the living room to hear a screeching-grinding-whistling sound coming from the laundry room. A is just sitting there on the couch. "Do you hear that?" She just kind of nods and still just sits there. Now that irritated me and I muttered something like, "Do you think maybe you could check something like that out?"

I went into the laundry area and find it's the dryer. It's still running but making a god-awful noise and smelling hot. I turn it off, do a quick check to make sure nothing is stuck inside, turn it back on-it's still making the noise. "Oh great! It's the dryer!" I yell to her. Still nothing from her as I bang around and struggle to pull the machine out so I can check the connection of the exhaust, etc. "Can you help me?" Nothing.

I come back into the living room telling her that the dryer isn't working and expressed how upset I am that I won't be able to get a repairman here at the earliest until Monday and things are so busy at work I'm not in the position to take a 1/2 day off to wait for the repairman, blah, blah, blah...still nothing from her. Now I'm getting irritated by her apathy and tell her well if you want clean clothes, I guess we will have to find time to go to the laundromat this weekend and she says, "I have quarters".

I admit I flew into a nail-spitting rage. That was the last fucking smart-ass comment I wanted to hear. So I let it fly. I kind of feel bad...no I take that back, I don't feel bad at all. Really I love her, but she pisses me off like no one else can! I'm sure I'll be better in the morning-just needed to vent.

Halloween Fun, More Puppies and A Baptism

2011-10-24T00:22:00.001-05:00

I don't know if I've mentioned before that Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday. It's no-stress, no family hassles and it is only as much fuss as you want. I just love this time of year and spend as much time as possible watching scary movies and cuddling close to my love.

Saturday night my friend Kristine and I dragged our spouses off for a fun and fright-filled night at Scream Town. As I sit here tonight typing, my throat is still raw and scratchy from screaming. There were 5 different attractions but by far the scariest was the Circus Asylum. Clowns + pitch blackness + strobe lights = scared shitless!

Several times A said I actually picked her up. We learned Kristine is a sprinter when scared and at one point she practically ripped off my parka. Her husband (a big 6' 5" guy) was plowed over and pushed out the fire exit by 3 freaked out gals...well make that 2 freaked out gals and one gal being dragged/carried along. That time several of the actors actually lost character and burst out laughing themselves. I woke this morning feeling stiff and sore and I swear I dis-located a hip.

It was a late night and then an early morning when I hobbled my crippled ass out of bed to put on heels and head to church. That's right, I suffered through mass to attend the baptism of the son/grandson of our close friends (and adopted family). Ahh, the things you do for the ones you love! We had a great meal and lots of visiting, laughter and hugs afterward. It was a happy occasion just to have everyone together.

Even though I was tired it was a great way to end the weekend as I returned home again from a short petsitting/housesitting gig. This time it was a happier occasion since Betty just had a chance for a last minute getaway. She seems to be doing much better and I'm hopeful for her. Anyway the bonus for me was getting to spend 5 days with these adorable little critters.

3.5 week old Chin puppies. OMG, I was in so much love!

I tried to resist holding them as much as possible since it made their little mama nervous.

But seriously, who can resist this face and they fit just perfectly in one of my hands. This little guy will never be a show dog since his markings aren't "breed standard" but his little mustache is so unique. I don't know if Betty has named them yet, but I called him Groucho Marx all week.

Happy Monday!

Final Camping Trip 2011: Whitewater State Park

2011-10-17T11:26:00.002-05:00

One last chilly weekend camping trip for us and our crew. We left Friday afternoon and made a short drive to the bluffs of southeast MN.

Our final camping of the summer was supposed to be the peak of the fall color.

This was all that was left of fall color...just a scatter here and there. Most of the trees were already bare.

I was surprised at just how many campers there were out this past weekend. I suppose they were out looking for color too since the people who are supposed to know these things had forecasted it. Looks like they are about a reliable as the weatherman.

The weather cooperated as best as we can expect this time of year. The sun was warm and it was in the 60s during the day but that damn north wind was plaguing us. It never lets us forget that winter is around the corner.

Perfect weather though to build a big fire and sit around chatting...or not.

We had the crew outside with us as much as possible until their little feet started to chill from the cold damp ground.

The chilly nights in the 40s made me thankful for that little gas furnace in the RV. Add my down comforter and 7 furry little bodies snuggled in around me, and I was toasty warm. Too bad I woke so stiff and sore from not moving most of the night.

This state park has miles of hiking trails through the river valley and up into the surrounding bluffs. Saturday we decided to take the trail up into the bluffs to Chimney Rock. The trail starts out pretty level along the river and leads to a beach/picnic area.

There were several of these little waterfalls.

A being the mountain goat she always is just couldn't resist leaving the trail and climbing the sandstone cliffs. From the look of it, a lot of others like to climb up there too and carve their name or initials in the soft walls.

I should keep reminding her that she's not 20 anymore and breakable, but I doubt it would have much effect.

Most of the trail to Chimney Rock was just a narrow dirt path long the edge of steep drops. Some of the steeper places had wooden stairs like these.

But I preferred the beautiful stone stairs that wound upward overlooking the Whitewater river.

With all that cardio we did stop for a break on these perfectly placed benches.

We finally made it to the top and A stood out there to survey the world.

It's crazy to me that I can jump out of an airplane, but standing on the edge of that cliff makes me feel woozy. I had to lay down to look over the edge. A just couldn't resist climbing down a little further to freak me out and take this picture.

We were starving when we finally made our way back to camp but A had put meatball stew on in the crock pot that morning so we didn't have to wait long to eat.

Then it was nap-time but it's hard to get much rest when the crew all wants to nap with you.

I cut my not-really-a-nap short because A wanted to check out the Wildlife Center.

Nice wolfie...

...and a giant beaver...

...and A stalking a turkey. She does whatever she can to keep me entertained.

As usual we had curious visitors to our campsite. Most people are friendly enough, but the asshole camping across from us pissed me off immediately. We had no longer unloaded the dogs (and they had not made a single noise) and he came over to ask us if we were going to be able to keep them quiet all weekend. Grrrrrr! Seriously, IF they are making noise you can complain, but don't come up to me and start complaining before anything has happened!

We laughed at the idiot every morning as he did his wannabe Chuck Norris workout with bungee strap on the tree and picnic table. Click to see a close up. What a jackass!

An Update and "The Dog Hoarder's Convention"

2011-09-21T23:53:00.000-05:00

Around here life is settling back into normal routine. After spending 3.5 weeks at home, A returned to work Monday. It was nice to have her home, especially since we had extra furry house-guests for a couple weeks. I guess I've just been feeling quiet and last week I was swamped getting the silent auction together for our rescue's annual get-together (also called the Dog Hoarder's Convention by A's sister). This is the third year I've been in charge but got a late start so I was just happy to pull things together in time.

Saturday morning we woke to a cool, windy day. A had spent Friday getting the RV ready and packed for our trip. The plan was to drive it to the rescue event and then camp along the Redwood river that night. We were running late...as usual...and after getting all the dogs loaded in to RV it wouldn't start. Seriously?! After working on it for over an hour, we just had to load the essential stuff and the dogs into two cars to go. We were both in pissed off moods but after we got there, it was hard to stay mad with all this cuteness running around...120 cute little dogs in attendance to be exact!

Tawny

The old man Gizzy looks down on the commoners from his stroller.

How can you tell which one is yours?

Love the teeth!

Suki

Buddy had the best seat in the house.

This is what happens when you try to give one dog a treat.

We ate too much food, visited and spent all my money at the silent auction. Since I run it and bid for others who can't attend, I don't bid for myself. The last two years A has bid for me and I've come home with a load of stuff and an empty purse.

This is the first year we decided to pose for a group photo. Obviously, this isn't every volunteer in our group but there are people here from Minnesota, Wisconsin, South Dakota, Iowa and even one person who planned their trip north from New Mexico to coincide with this event.

This year my offer to the silent auction was a custom pet portrait by fellow blogger Rocket. I had her do one of our dog Gizzy to use as an example and the winner could then submit a photo of their own pet for a portrait. It was a big hit at the auction and I'm ecstatic it raised quite a bit of cash. I just LOVE this picture and she completely captured the Old Man.

I have it framed and proudly displayed in my living room. THANK YOU ROCKET!

A and I had a lot of things planned for this fall but haven't accomplished much. Mostly I've just wanted to stay close to home and be with her. We were disappointed to not be able to camp this past weekend, but now the RV is up and running again (a bad battery is an easy fix) and we still have a weekend trip planned mid-October near the Mississippi river/Wisconsin before putting it away for the winter. We've had time to re-connect with each other and re-prioritize our lives. A seems to be in a better state if mind about her job and has decided to go back to school (online) to expand her degree. I'm so happy she has finally made that decision and I'm hoping it all works out. This coming weekend, I'm excited that my brother is bringing my nephews for a visit. I haven't seen them in over a year already!

My Remembrance

2011-09-11T13:45:00.000-05:00

Last night A built a fire in the backyard and as we sat there looking into the flames we did what so often happens when sitting around a fire...we reminisced.

We talked about 10 years ago when I was on my way to my 8am class that I had no idea as I parked my car and rushed across campus that a plane was hitting the first tower in New York. In 2001, no one had internet on their cell phones. We all sat through our 8am classes without a clue.

At 9am I walked into one of the common areas on campus and people were crowded around every TV. That is when I realized something had happened. I called A who had worked the night shift and was just getting ready to go to bed and told her to turn on the TV. All classes were cancelled and I drove as fast a possible the 1 hour to A's place listening to the radio as the towers fell.

September 11th is also our anniversary. That year on our second one, I remember we had plans but for the life of me, I don't have a clue what they were now. We, like everyone else, sat parked in front of the TV watching and wondering...what next?

In the last 10 years I have not agreed with all the politics and policies that were the outcome of this event. Today I've been saddened to read all the online comments by people who choose to bash the memorial events because of their anger with the government or their hatred of others' religious beliefs.

Today I choose to remember that everyone who died that day loved and was loved by someone else. They were all someone's husband, wife, sister, brother, mother, father, son, daughter or friend. They got up that morning and went through their normal routine just like any other day and in the matter of a few hours they were lost.

Now I'm going to turn off the TV/internet, hug the person I love, be grateful that I still have the ability to do that, and enjoy this beautiful fall day.

"Honey, I'm Home!"

2011-09-07T20:14:00.000-05:00

And I informed A I'm not leaving again. I don't like the single life.

Sunday

2011-09-05T17:41:00.001-05:00

We joined friends at their home for a Labor Day BBQ and bonfire. There was so much food. You know so much good food that you're full but you just keep going back for little of this and that. JK went crazy on the grill making burgers, brats, steak, chops and ribs...holy shit that's a lot of meat! I woke up Monday morning still feeling full.

A lovely fall sunset.

Someone had the bright idea to throw that bale of hay on the fire.

Which turned it into an even bigger/hotter fire. Our friend Faye ended up with embers in her hair and A swatting her across the head to put her out.

A loving the heat...it was 54 degrees. No alcohol for her last night, 7Up only.

And JK serenaded us around the fire...or tried to. He hasn't picked up a guitar in years. Who am I to criticize, I can't play a single chord.

Frog Massacres, Car Rides, Lattes and Other Randomness

2011-09-04T14:53:00.003-05:00

Woke up this morning and it was 56 degrees. Seriously, it was 92 and so humid I could hardly breathe just a few days ago. Oh, the joys of Minnesota...you can't hold onto the summer. Yesterday morning A and I sat in the back yard trying to catch a cooling breeze then somewhere mid-afternoon I saw my neighbor's windmill change direction-here comes the north wind. By evening the AC was off, windows open and sweatshirts out.

Late last night I finally forced myself to leave home and return to the Twin Cities. As I drove along the back roads it was a frog massacre. There were frogs everywhere hopping across the road; leaving the swamps, lakes and ponds to return to the mud of the fields. There is just no way to dodge all the hopping bodies and each "thud" I heard under my car just made me sick to my stomach. The frogs and busy squirrels know that it won't be long until until the big chill arrives. I'm just hoping for a long, long fall.

This is the first day in over a week that I haven't went home for the day. I've been spending my nights at my house sitting/pet sitting gig. I get up in the morning, clean, do laundry, run the dogs in the yard, hop in the shower and make the 1:15 hour drive home to do the same thing again at that house. A is recovering well. She has finished her antibiotics and is passing the point of concern over complications. This morning though, I woke up and followed my normal routine....cleaning, laundry, dog running, showering and then found myself wandering. A and I had plans to join friends for a BBQ/bonfire today before her surgery. Since A is feeling up to entering public life again and they are about 1/2 the way home, we are meeting there.

It's good that I'm staying here with these dogs today. My pet sitting crew has greatly decreased after 5 moved to other foster homes and our sweet little Petie passed. I won't lie and say I miss them all (well I truly miss Petie) but the numbers here are much more manageable and I'm enjoying them much more. Like sweet and spunky Suki who definitely got her point across to me yesterday as I got ready to leave. They've been spending too much time alone.

Betty takes her crew in the car a lot and even has these cute little baskets/booster seats they ride in. Since she left I had not had them out but today I was craving a coffee so I rattled my keys and called "Wanna go for a ride?" and Suki, Juno and Gus went ballistic! I opened the door to the garage and they were leaping with all they had to get into my car.

We headed to Starbucks but the line was a mile long...don't know what that was about so instead we settled for a vanilla latte at McD's. I've had better (and worse) but I did save myself a $1...well more like $2 especially when you consider a latte is 1/2 foam anyway. The thing I dislike about McD's is they make you declare if you want whole or fat-free milk. At Starbucks, unless you say fat-free they just make it with the good stuff and you can delude yourself into believing whatever you want...if you don't say it it didn't happen.

Sweet little Susannah sleeping in the sun. Soon she will be coming home to stay with me. Honestly I feel a lot like this....just so very, very tired. I've been sleeping; more like I can't keep my eyes open another second and passing out sleeping, but spending 8+ hours in bed at night plus taking naps with A during the day. I just can't get enough sleep. I know that I'm just stressed and this is how my body deals...I need to sleep and repair. Betty should be returning home mid-week and my work asked me if I wanted to extend my time off another day so I don't go back until Wednesday. Hallelujah!
If you managed to make it through this long and mostly pointless post, I applaud you for your dedication. Now get the hell out of here and go out and enjoy your Labor Day!

Life, Near-Death and Death...All In One Week.

2011-08-31T02:15:00.002-05:00

My pet sitting/house sitting/commute had all been going okay until last Tuesday. The previous weekend had been great. Saturday A came to visit me, we hung out by the pool and then went into the city to meet fellow blogger, Crystal for drinks. (Once again Crystal, it was great to finally meet you and Rachel.) Sunday I spent the day at home with A and my own crew before returning to the city to start another week. I had a busy one planned; rescue home visits, a Wednesday night concert date with A to see Stevie Nicks, a lunch date on Friday. Just busy, busy, busy...

Tuesday night around 7pm I was driving back to the house from a home visit for a potential dog adopter and A called. Her voice was strained and when I asked her what was wrong she said she was having abdominal pain. So much pain she was actually out of breath. I asked if she thought it was her appendix and she said she was sure it was just menstrual cramps. At 9pm I talked to her again and she had went to bed and said she felt much better. At 10:30 pm I was just getting ready to lay down myself and my phone rang. I answered "What happened?!" She said she was on her way (driving herself) to the emergency room. She insisted I stay put until they found out something. After blood work and a CAT scan, they transferred her to another hospital for an emergency appendectomy.

I had no choice but to call Betty's daughter to come deal with the dogs here. My crew at home had already been alone for hours and they were going to need taken care of through this situation.

By the time I made it to see A, she was out of recovery and looked like hell! I had been up all night and as we already know, when I reach that point I just can't deal with anything anymore. The surgeon came into talk to us. She was very concerned about A's condition. Her appendix had burst and by the time they opened her, the infection had spread through her abdominal cavity. She estimated her appendix had been leaking for 1-2 days and pools of infection were everywhere as well as fecal matter. Her blood pressure was dangerously low. They couldn't get it to come up and were considering moving her to ICU. Her blood work was a wreck. They were running fluids and loads of antibiotics and well as a morphine pump to keep her comfortable.

Thursday I needed to go to work (one girl on maternity leave, another on vacation out of state) and when I went to visit A that evening she seemed better. They had stabilized her BP and her color was much better but she was having trouble breathing. The next morning they diagnosed her with pneumonia. Even with these set-backs, Friday afternoon she was up walking the halls with me when I came to visit.

See that smile...it's induced by the morphine pump on the right. :)

They discharged A from the hospital Sunday afternoon. The physician's assistant came to go over discharge instructions and told us A had been the talk of the office all week. He had been there for her surgery and said when her lab work came in, the question everyone asked was "How is this person even alive?" They even had the crash team on standby in the operating room because they were sure A was going to code during surgery.

Surgery is always scary but it was shocking to realize just how close to death she was. As A would say, "I was circling the drain." Damnit, sometimes the joking is too much! But I realize that's the way she coping right now and she's trying to help me not worry. It's going to be awhile before she's 100% but so far she's listening to me and resting. Her body has been through so much in the last week. I took the entire week off and I'm splitting my time between my home and the pet sitting/house sitting gig.

We did have "the talk" about this situation when we got home. I wasn't rude or angry; just told her that she's a great nurse and does a fabulous job assessing the needs of her patients. It's time that she starts using those fine assessment skills on herself too. This is the second time I've had to pull out the "If this was your patient having these symptoms, you would send then to the ER, right?" I'm hoping she has learned because this mistake could have ended her life.

During the midst of all this drama, Betty's daughter arrived at the house Wednesday evening to find the tiny 5 month old pup Petie "The Flea" crashed in the floor. He was rushed to the vet and perked up a bit but by Friday he crashed again. Thankfully this time he was in the care of my own Tim and Orv's foster parents. Barb, Dave and their vet did everything they could for him but unfortunately his frail little 1.5 pound body just couldn't beat the odds anymore. He surprised us all by hanging on until Sunday afternoon and then passed peacefully in his sleep. When I left the house Wednesday morning he was jumping up my leg begging for attention, giving me kisses and wrestling with his siblings. Another sitaution where it all happens so fast. I know he had been sickly since birth but he was just such a sweet cuddly little doll. It just makes my heart sad. This is the last picture I took of him.

Bless his sweet little heart.

What's Your Name?

2011-08-18T22:13:00.000-05:00

I have quite a few animals I'm babysitting around here. Betty was kind enough to "color-code" them before she left. Seriously, she put different color collars on everyone and left a list. After a week, I've finally got it figured out who is who and learning a little about their personalities.

Flirty Susannah who wants so much to be loved but is shy. She runs up, licks my leg then runs away. But she's quite the cutie the way she dances and flirts with that tail. Reminds me of a Geisha dancing with a fan.

Brandi and Omar

Suki and Gus

Naughty and rambunctious Mikey.

Chesney

Sampson living the hard life.

Petie, aka The Flea or Flea-Bag. He's 4.5 months old and is the size of a 10 week old kitten. There's a few others that I don't have pictures of yet. Like poor Mannie who I called Sherman for days and didn't understand why he wouldn't respond. And sweet little Juno who never leaves my side and chin-spins for my entertainment. Plus Angel, Rosie, My Boy and Chumley.

There's also a beautiful blue-eyed Ragdoll cat here too. For the life of me I can't remember his name!

"Ragdoll Kitty" will just have to do.

Living the Single Life...

2011-08-14T22:43:00.000-05:00

...and hating every minute of it. No worries, A and I are still happily together but just living apart for a while.

It's been a crazy busy week! It started over a week ago when A and I were out having dinner and I received a phone call from one of the women we work with in rescue. Betty has been the cornerstone of our rescue/adoption effort in the Twin Cities and now she was the one asking for help. She told me she was entering rehab in 5 days. She shows dogs and has 4 chin of her own plus a litter of 4 puppies in addition to the dogs she's fostering. Another foster volunteer and I were scrambling to try to figure out what we were going to do with all these dogs and how we were going to get them moved in just a few days. Aghhhh!!

I was not relishing the idea of trying to move 4-5 more dogs in my house and everyone else seemed just as overwhelmed. There was even some conversation about us only concerning ourselves with our foster dogs and Betty was just going to have to worry about her own. Needless to say, that pissed me off and so I talked to A and made an offer. I had no longer hit the "send" button on that email and I felt the ball of anxiety forming in my stomach...30+ days living in the Twin Cities; away from A and my own crew, living on my own for the first time in 10 years.

At first Betty thought I was crazy. But I convinced her I could handle the increased commute and she finally agreed. She checked herself in Wednesday and handed over her home and pets to me. Her daughter is taking care of the personal things. The first few days were hectic, the dogs/house felt overwhelming but I'm slowly adjusting. Yeah right, who am I kidding. I miss A and my crew terribly.

Yesterday I went home for the day. We had friends coming for lunch, I did laundry and cuddled with the dogs and cats. After our company left, A and I layed down to nap. It was the most relaxing and comforting sleep I've had in days. When I had to leave, I cried. You would swear I'm leaving for another country for months instead of just 75 miles for a week. It didn't help that later A sent a picture to me of Cassie waiting by the door for me to return. Now that breaks my heart.

Otherwise I've just been keeping myself busy getting this house in order. I actually had to go grocery shopping and cook for myself. Let me tell you, it's over-rated! Next weekend A will come up and we will hang out in the pool (yes, bonus we have a (real) pool here) and I will have to go home for a few hours at some point to see my own babies.

I'm slowly getting around to every one's blogs and catching up on my email. Happy Monday!

Is there anyone out there willing to help out a grad student?

2011-08-09T22:31:00.000-05:00

Hello readers, my blog friend Crystal asked me to post this because she needs help getting participants for her dissertation examining grief following the loss of a companion animal. If you or anyone you know fits the following criteria (either A or B) and would be willing to take a short online survey, please email her for further details. Thank you!

Group A)

You may qualify if you meet the following criteria;

You have experienced the death of a companion dog within the past 5 years.
You have attended therapy during and/or following that loss. (The therapy does not need to have been specific to that loss)
You are over the age of 18.

Please email Crystal at cagrief@gmail.com (for more information or to see a flyer click here)

Group B)

You may qualify if you meet the following criteria;

You are a therapist licensed either at the masters or doctoral level.
You have been practicing for at least a year.

Please email Crystal at cagrieftherapy@gmail.com

Thank you,

Crystal

Nerstrand/Big Woods State Park

2011-08-08T10:54:00.001-05:00

How can I be so tired from doing nothing? Oh yeah I'm tired form all the drama; not with A and I. We are fine as ever but rescue/friend drama. I'll write more on that later when I have a chance to sit and write it down. The last 4 days have been a blur but we had weekend plans that we weren't breaking.

We loaded up the crew and cruised to a nearby state park for the weekend. I can truly say I did nothing all weekend but sit around the fire, eat and relax.

The dogs had to do a few "time-outs" inside the RV. Here Tim watches A setting up the tripod to cook over the fire.

A was so excited to finally use her new Dutch oven. Her dad, sister and nephew came to join us for hiking and dinner. She made campfire chili and I baked the cornbread before we left home. Since the fire was going she decided to bake the biscuits for Sunday breakfast in her Dutch oven too.

We got distracted by more visitors to our campsite and the biscuits ended up a little over-done. Oh well, there was plenty of food and I didn't need more carbs in my diet.

I spotted this RV when we were pulling in and snapped a picture..."Look A, Parrot Heads!"

Later that evening the two ladies who own and painted this rig stopped by our camp site to meet the dogs.

A's dad had to stop on the trail and read every informational plaque.

Starting into the woods. All I can think is how many mosquitos are in there waiting to feast on me. I had coated myself in DEET and even though the mosquitos still swarmed me, I came out of the woods with only one bite.

The trail we were on followed along a creek and it wasn't long before we found the Hidden Falls.

A's sister took her dad back to camp while A and I continued on another trail for awhile.

We found this interesting tree and A just couldn't resist climbing it.

I wasn't there to witness it personally, but I can't help but imagine this is what A's birth looked like. She swears her birth was more like "Alien". Whatever.

Happy Monday!

Thinking of Life on the Road (A lot of Pictures)

2011-07-25T09:12:00.000-05:00

Poor A.

Her weekend camping trip was worse than I thought. We didn't have much time to talk; mostly she was filling me in via text. You know how texting is...you don't get the entire description or the mood of the situation.

When she walked in the house, I immediately could tell she was steaming. We hurried to get her mom's stuff loaded into her car all the time listening to the psycho mutt screech in our back yard. A couldn't hurry her out of here quick enough! Seems like they had quite the blow-up on the 4 hour drive home today. I'm so proud of her though since she really gave her mom an earful. Years ago she would have never; she would have simply clamped her mouth shut. For so many years A has been apologizing for her sexuality and today she stood up for who she is and told her mother she is not ashamed-take it or leave it! Ha!

We always joke that I'm the little devil who sits on her shoulder and whispers, say this, do that. Today apparently I was.

Well at least we have some weekend trips planned over the next couple months. Looks like the state of Minnesota has reopened the majority of the state parks so we don't have to cancel anything. I feel bad that A had such a shitty waste of a weekend but I couldn't help but be envious of her too. Instead I was stuck here at home looking at pictures and longing for our next road trip.

When A installed the new stereo, she put it all the way over by the steering wheel.

No matter, I'm still in control with the mp3 played and remote in my lap. I truly have to have things my way...and messing with the stereo is distracted driving anyway.

The most common question we get when out in the RV is "What's it like to travel with all those dogs?" What can I say other than it's like living with them at home but in a much smaller space.

We have all types of people approach us but some of the nicest are the truckers. They come over motivated by loneliness for their pets left at home while they spend weeks...sometimes months on the road. We listen patiently as tell us about their own dogs. We often find ourselves staying longer at a stop than expected just because we hate to cut them off.

I admit that our first few road trips were a learning experience but this year we really have it down.

We all try to be safe and stick together. If someone leaves the pack, everyone anxiously keeps watch until their return.

And if you don't behave, you can ride in the crate on the hitch rack, also known as "The Dinky Seat" (from National Lampoon's Vacation).

The old man grass-rolls at every stop.

And he rides in his stroller parked between the seats.

But Tim, being the jealous bastard he is, has to try out Giz's special seat every chance he gets.

Sia and Cassie spend a lot of time breathing down my neck. (Phew!)

And barking at people when we stop for gas.

And attempting the challenge to get up into the front seat to be with mama at any cost.

We encounter informative wall art. I wonder just how many people are named "Tabby" in that small town? My guess, not many and Tabby knows who she is.

And judgement along the interstate.

We really had to laugh that the one doing the condemning can't spell.

We travel on a scary, demonic road the superstitious may want to avoid.

And find historical roadsigns too. A trail marker and S-shaped bridge on the National Road, commissioned by Thomas Jefferson and one of the earliest roads west. It was supposed to go to Missouri but they ran out of money in Illinois. See our government had financial problems then too.

I wish we would have stopped here for breakfast. I just loved the name and it reminded me of Ms. Moon.

Our final stop on our return trip form Ohio-The Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, Iowa where Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper played their final show.
See what wild times we have on the road? *laugh*

A Less Than Ideal Camping Weekend

2011-07-24T14:22:00.001-05:00

A is finally on her way driving toward home. This weekend she took her mother (Nancy) camping in Iowa. Last summer Nancy whined multiple times about wanting to go in the RV and A kept her at bay telling her they would plan something for this summer. Well this spring Nancy brought it up again and A couldn't avoid it any longer so a date was set.

I could have went along, I would have loved to spend the weekend cruising down the highway, lounging by a fire, swimming, riding around town on my bicycle and stopping for a Bob dog at the local drive-in restaurant...but NOT with Nancy along. She's hard enough to deal with (even A struggles to tolerate) and I couldn't tolerate 3 days in such close quarters. Plus she was bringing along that hateful little dog of hers. That little dog has no manners, no discipline and no guidance and the sad truth is it's Nancy's fault. There's just not enough room in the RV for 3 adults, 1 psycho dog and our 8 included. I opted to stay home.

2 weeks ago I was having doubts this trip was really going to happen. First Nancy called to complain about the time they were leaving She wanted to work Friday and then drive down to our house (it would take her 1.5 hours to get here) and then leave. A told her they were leaving at the pre-arranged time since she didn't want to drive all that way and then have to set up camp in the dark.

Last weekend we were at a family picnic and Nancy was asking if the beds were comfortable and saying things like she sure hoped she would be able to sleep without hurting her back and I hope the AC keeps it cool enough. Then it was things like "well you know I can only eat Hebrew National hot dogs" A said fine; told her to pick up a pack and asked her to make a bowl of potato salad too. Nancy started complaining in the whine of her's that she had to buy her own hotdogs and make potato salad. I had enough and told her flat out that I think that's the least she can do since A is the one driving, providing the majority of the food, and paying for the campsite and gas (for a 9mpg gas whore).

Her attitude just really pisses me off. I consider it very rude and just plain ungrateful, especially when A is just trying to be nice.

From my texts with A all weekend, it sounds like all Nancy did was complain while they were there too. A spent all her time trying to wrangle the dog. It barks constantly and her mother does nothing to try to quiet it. Hey I understand that dogs bark, ours do too, but we don't let them go on and we make a huge effort to not let them disturb others. A was pissed to be woken at 6am this morning by her mother's dog screaming at the top of her lungs at nothing. Unfortunately some campgrounds are starting to ban pets because of irresponsible owners. I don't want to see that become the rule since it would really ruin things for us.

I have a feeling this is the first and last camping trip for A and her mother.

Tiny Balls Of Fire!

2011-07-16T11:40:00.000-05:00

The first Habanero peppers of the summer.

The tomato plants are starting to produce.

Banana peppers too.

Somewhere in the garden the onions, jalapenos and cilantro are coming along too.

I can hardly wait for salsa time!

This Week in Pictures

2011-07-13T00:40:00.000-05:00

Blissfully quiet for the most part.

The lilies are blooming.

Our favorite Stargazer lilies. We planted 3 plants two years ago and they didn't return last summer. To our surprise, one re-appeared this summer.

It was so hot and humid during the day, we spent our time reading in the sun and cooling off in the pool.

In the evening the dogs came out to play. Our Miss LuLu has taken huge steps toward trusting us the past month.

The biggest obstacle is avoiding mosquitos this big. Seriously, what the hell is in the water to make these mutants! I'm going to die from DEET toxicity.

When you're just laying around the house what else is there to do but eat. Blueberry pancakes for breakfast.

A made each of the dogs their own personal 50 cent piece size pancake.

Add Turkish coffee to give a little jolt to your day.

Birthday dinner of grilled lobster, shrimp and asparagus.

A wanted my artery-clogging pineapple upside down cake. Here she is enjoying a late night snack of cake, Cool-Whip and milk.

A movie and popcorn night.

LuLu goes absolutely crazy when she hears the popcorn hit the pan. There is much dancing, spinning and chirping.

And the old man Giz is always there to protect his claim on the popcorn bowl and keep the youngsters in line if they get too pushy.

LuLu had to be rescued after the sticker on the watermelon got the best of her.

And I had to be rescued when a violent thunderstorm went through. The sirens went off, the power went out and I found myself in total blackness trying to round up dogs and get them to the basement. A came to the rescue with flashlights and candles...we made it through without any major damage.

Pool Time

2011-07-06T23:20:00.003-05:00

Several years ago for 3 lovely summers we had a swimming pool. You know, one of those huge blue rubber things that seem to defy gravity. It was a decent size for us at 18 feet across and 4 feet deep; plenty of room for a couple floats and paddling around.

We spent a large majority of summer outdoor time just floating around out there reading and soaking up the sun. We had a lot of fun in that pool and there may or may not have been some late night skinny-dipping involved too.

A loved that pool and it was her summer hobby. She kept it spotlessly clean and the water was always that perfect crystal blue. She vacuumed, changed filters, checked the pH and carefully adjusted the chemicals. Mid summer of its 3rd year she discovered a small leak at one seam. She patched it and said that fall we would buy a new one. In August she herniated a disc in her back and had surgery. That meant no more pool time for her the rest of the summer and all the maintenance fell to me. That fall we started an addition to our house that took up some of the backyard. My brother helped me take down the pool for the last time.

We hung out around home the entire 4th of July weekend and all A talked about was how much she missed her pool. "Babe, maybe we should get a new one." I tried to be the voice of reason; "We don't have a flat sunny spot in the yard anymore." and "Don't you remember how much work it was?"
After 5 days listening to her talk about nothing else and being told several times "I would love to have that for my birthday" I finally caved and picked up a new swimming pool for A's birthday gift.

Now maybe I can get some peace and quiet. Happy 49th Birthday Baby!

Happy Belated Pride and Roadtrip Part 1

2011-06-27T01:59:00.000-05:00

A built a fire for us in the back yard tonight. We sat out there for the longest time not even talking, but just staring into the flames. Earlier we had dogs out there with us. That was until Jill decided to try to crawl under the fire pit (yes while a fire was burning). Luckily the only damage she sustained was scorched hair on the back of her neck.

It was Pride weekend in the Twin Cities but we chose to stay home. Now hearing about all the fun makes we wish we would have went even for a little while. A friend took this great picture of the I-35 bridge in Minneapolis all lit up for the occasion.
We've been home from vacation 2 weeks...TWO WEEKS! It seems like forever already. Let me give you some highlights of our adventure.

We left Minnesota on the one day this year that summer decided to show up. We had planned to leave early afternoon but with a 95+ degree temp and humidity, we delayed for a few hours. We headed south getting pushed all over the road by a strong west wind.

We had plans to meet Leeza's adopters at a truck stop in Bloomington, IL before 8am. That meant pushing through the night and arriving there after 4am. I have to say that the state of Illinois is full of fucking weirdos! There is one point on I-74 where there is 57 miles without an exit and right in the middle of that area, at 2:30am there was a woman walking along the side of the interstate. She scared the shit out of us since she was dressed in black and we saw her literally as we were passing her.
Leeza's family showed up around 7am and although she was nervous, she was giving her new mama kisses by the time they left with her.

Back on the road by to be in Indianapolis by noon. When we arrived it was over 90 degrees again and the only spot of shade at the meeting place was at the end of a Home Depot parking lot. It was insane the number of people who pulled up and shouted out "How much?" They didn't say hi, ask what kind of dogs they were, nothing but how much do they cost. A was trying to be pleasant and explain but I had lost all patience and finally just told people they're ours, we're on vacation. The End.
Chantelle's adopter was so excited to finally get her hands on her newest baby. I felt like I was handing a mother her newborn for the first time. She's going to be one very spoiled little girl.

Shortly after leaving Indianapolis, we hit a snag. We ended up parked on the interstate in 95+ degree temps with no AC for nearly a hour. We were getting worried for the dogs, I was behind the wheel and A was rubbing them down with ice/water. When we finally got moving again, I was at the point of not being able to handle anything anymore. I had been awake for 35+ hours (with a couple short naps) and A was not much better. She finally said what the hell are we doing this for and we pulled into the next campground we found. I swear that KOA outside of Dayton was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! We cooled off, showered, slept and ate. Now this is when vacation really starts.

The next morning we enjoyed breakfast and then traveled eastward to our final camping spot.

The KOA offered an all-you-can-eat breakfast for $5. You can't beat that.

Very happy to have my waffle.

My favorite part when returning home is driving from the flatland into the hills. It's hard to describe because even though it's not home anymore, at that moment I realize how much I miss the landscape. Our campground was up on a hill overlooking the river. Since we were there mostly during the week, it was quiet and we had a spot away from everyone else.

Mist rising out of the hills just before sunrise.

Our campsite.

We reserved a rental car for getting around. Enterprise was too busy to pick us up in the morning so we called the local cab company to get a ride. Now that was an experience! At 9am she pulled up in front of the campground office. She was large, stinking of BO and cigarettes, greasy hair, sores on her arms and nursing her breakfast of Bugles and Diet Pepsi. We got in the cab and found the seats dirty and covered with cigarette burns. Packs of Pall Malls stacked on the dash of the car. Thankfully it was a short ride but not much better than the Tijuana taxi we took one time. At the rental place, they had no cars left so they gave me a Dodge Dakota truck. It was a nice vehicle but I had hoping for something with good gas milage after driving the gas whore over 900 miles.

It was hot everyday but we didn't care. In the mornings, A would make coffee and we would sit outside and smell the sweetness of the honeysuckle while eating breakfast. A was very interested in those plants since the honeysuckle she knew growing up in northern MN is very different and hardly has any scent.

After breakfast we would take the dogs walking on the trail and then come back and go for a swim in the heated saltwater pool. In the afternoon/evening we went out exploring and visiting with family and friends.

Where else can you get a grilled cheese and fries for under $5 then have a huge bowl of ice cream.

Mmm, homemade peanut butter pie.

One day we spent in West Virginia. I just picked out a route on the map and we went on a road trip on secondary roads and through small towns. We stopped at a couple state parks and a nature reserve and went out hiking around. We stopped in small diners and listened to bluegrass music on the radio and just enjoyed being together; no schedules, no plans, no dogs, just us.

I almost believe it.

Ohio River

On Thursday morning I went to visit Dad and wrote about that in my previous post. On Thursday evening though I had the privilege to meet a fellow blogger; the one and only Sarcastic Bastard. We left one side of Buttfuck Ohio to drive to the other side of Buttfuck Ohio to meet her fabulousness for dinner and drinks. She brought along her Moms (you know a person must be safe when meeting people from the internet) and we had a wonderful evening together. We arrived 1/2 hour late because we got stuck in traffic/road construction in Columbus and I was praying she had not left thinking we had stood her up. It didn't help that I really didn't know what she looked like, except for a glance at a picture she had posted for a short time. Luckily A and I have pictures posted everywhere so we were recognizable. We walked into the restaurant, looked around anxiously and then SB was there hugging us.

It is so seldom that I meet someone that I'm instantly comfortable with. I'm usually so shy and quiet with new people but we felt like old friends...well more like family. You know the real family that you enjoy spending time with because you love so much not because you're required to. :) The evening went by too quickly; SB had to work in the morning, A and I had a 2 hour drive home to our campsite. Pictures were taken (but will not be shared), hugs and good-byes were exchanged. I wish we would have had another day. I know this will not be our last trip to Buttfuck Ohio and next trip maybe we will take the moms up on her offer and plug in for a few days at her house.
To be continued...

Fathers

2011-06-20T00:28:00.001-05:00

Officially Father's day is almost over but well I'm late for everything else, so why not this too. I spent most of the day installing new flooring in the hallway. Yesterday morning I had planned to steam clean the carpet but by the afternoon I changed my mind and instead ripped out carpet and picked up new flooring at Home Depot. Anyway since it was a one person job and A was keeping busy and out of my way, I had a lot of time to think as I worked. I figured today was as good as any to write about my latest visit with dad.

I think this picture was taken of my dad and I on my second birthday. I'm pretty sure that was the year I received that fabulous tricycle. I'm surprised I still remember that bike.

When A and I arrived in Ohio, I admit I didn't go to see dad right away. He didn't know I was coming and I was concerned that he would worry/obsess about our visit. Plus every conversation I've had with him the last 6 months has been about him returning to Minnesota so I honestly was dragging my feet to have that conversation face-to-face. When my aunt (my mom's sister) offered to go along with us to visit, I sighed with relief at having that extra support. She goes to visit him every couple weeks.

Thursday morning we drove the care facility where he is living. I was relieved to see how nice it was. A and I were inspecting everything. :) He was still in bed and my aunt walked in first. He looked up and gave her a little wave. She leaned over and told him she brought a surprise, that A and I were there. He looked at me, said "hi" and just launched into bitching and complaining. He wasn't really complaining about anything in the present, he was still complaining about things that happened a year or more ago. I wasn't really able to have much of a conversation with him. We just sat back and listened to him talk and I realized that he is living in the past. He told us the same stories he's told us for years. He thinks he still has a job here in MN and wonders when he will be able to get back to work. He knows he needs to live somewhere where he can be taken care of but also thinks he can drive, return to MN and move back into his apartment. He goes back and forth between knowing his grandchildren live in South Dakota to thinking they are still living across the street from me.

It was a beautiful day so we took him outside to sit for awhile. I was relieved to see that Dad still very much looks the same. He was thinner but not overly so and he is eating well.

As for the person my dad was, well that person is very much gone. I didn't realize how much that has effected me until I typed it right now. I've been hiding (or suffocating) that fact; pushing it down and forcing myself to look at this from a medical perspective.

The most obvious thing to me was when I arrived and gave dad a hug, he showed no emotion. He didn't hug me back or hold my hand or do any of the things he normally would have. He didn't even call me "Mac", the nickname he gave me before I can remember. When I left the hospital last August, he was weak but he kept rubbing my hand with his good one and telling me "I love ya Mac". When my brothers and I left he cried. This time there was nothing...no emotion just talk about nothing that really matters anymore.

I didn't show any emotion either.

A was on stand-by. Nothing happened. I think she's still waiting.

I don't think dad even remembers my visit and maybe that's for the best. While I was there, I called one of my brothers so they could talk to him and then I forgot my phone in his room when I left. By the time I realized it, one of the employees had found it and taken it to the office. When they asked dad if he knew whose phone it was, he didn't know and didn't know who had been there to visit.

Not all my thoughts on this Father's Day were sad though. I also remembered my grandpa this day.

This is the first and only topless picture you will find of me on the internet. I must have been a little over a year old when this picture was taken which would have made my grandpa around 75. I'm eating a grape popsicle. My mom tells me it was the only flavor I would eat at that time.

In many ways, my grandpa was more of a father figure to me than dad. He was kind and stable and peaceful. He told great stories and drew pictures and carved airplanes out of wood. He was always humming a song and after a few drinks, he might sing. After a few more drinks he might dance too. I would sit on his lap and eat cookies, doughnuts or crackers dipped in coffee. He would fry eggs and make us sandwiches. Mom tells the story of returning home to find my diaper secured with black electrical tape (in the days before re-positionable fasteners). He sat in a chair in the corner of our huge kitchen reading large print westerns. He had a nickname for everyone and gave me the name "little fuzz" when I was 3 days old; 35 years later some still call me by that name. He was the one who would tell me that my dad's obsessive behavior and fighting with my mom "wasn't right".

He was already 52 years old when my mom was born and raising his second family. When my parents divorced, we moved back with him. By that time he was around 80 years old. He should have been enjoying his time but took us in, supported us financially when dad wouldn't and never seemed to regret it one bit. He always took me with him as he worked around the house. I would sit as he fixed things and he showed me how things worked. To this day I swear that if I'm stuck on some project around the house, I will set it aside and that night I will find the solution in my dreams...usually suggested by grandpa. He was the one who would tell me that it didn't matter I was a girl, I could do anything I wanted. That's pretty forward thinking for a man born in 1902.

Of all the people who have come and gone from my life, he is the one person I miss the most.

Vacation Withdrawls

2011-06-16T23:36:00.000-05:00

We've been home for days and have too easily slipped into the same old routine. That's so frustrating after having such a nice relaxing vacation. I don't want to be pulled back into reality. I don't want to live on a schedule. I want to have A back; have her all to myself and we can cruise around exploring and meeting new/old friends and sing along with the radio at the top of our lungs and dance by the campfire and flirt and play and just do whatever we want. Is that too much to ask?

When we pulled up in front of our house Sunday afternoon the dogs went crazy. They knew they were home and for the next 3 hours proceeded to run through the house and backyard until I was wishing I would have dropped a couple of them out along the interstate. Within 2 hours, A and I had the RV almost completely cleaned out and I had already washed two loads of laundry. Not bad since we spent a week packing and lived in there for 9 days.

We arrived home to find our flower beds in bloom; full of lilies, roses and daisies. There were only a few iris left after the heavy rain. We missed the lilacs but I was thrilled that we didn't miss the peonies since those are my favorites of the summer. The three older bushes were collapsing under the weight of the blooms and this year we had two newer bushes produce just one flower each.

They are all different varieties and the scents differ but when I cut those glorious blooms, I had enough to fill 2 large vases and in one smaller vase I added a few daisies and iris (FYI: I never claimed to have any talent for flower arrangement). When I brought them inside the scent filled our house.

As I sit here, I can smell them even though they are past their prime. I suppose by tomorrow I'll have to take them out to compost.

I wrote a little about our trip almost everyday, but I need to go through and fill in some things and add pictures. Meanwhile, I'm getting around to catching up on reading blogs and my email was overflowing.

Pre-Vacation Brain Dump

2011-06-03T00:39:00.000-05:00

We're on the countdown. I should be sleeping since I have to go to work in the morning and then we leave in the afternoon. I'm excited to see friends and family. I'm excited about traveling with A and getting the dogs transported. I'm excited about taking A out for day trips and hiking around in the hills. After all that is "home" even if I don't live there anymore. The one part of my trip that gives me any concern is seeing my father. I don't really know what to expect from the visit but I'm not expecting things to go well. Of course when I don't want to deal with something uncomfortable, my natural response is to avoid.

Since my dad had his stroke last August, I haven't shared much about him. When I left Ohio to return to Minnesota, I was surprised that dad was even still alive. He was not expected to make it through the weekend. He did and insisted to my brothers and I that he wanted to stay in Ohio. He absolutely did not want to return to Minnesota. I truly felt that when I drove away that would be the last time I would see my dad alive. But as bad as I felt for having to leave, my life had to continue and I had to come home; my life, work and most importantly A was here. I honestly started to feel like I was going a little insane without her; like I was barely holding myself together. I drove home almost straight through feeling exhausted and bruised.

Since I came home last August, Dad's health has been an up/down thing and now it seems that he's declining more both mentally and physically. His heart is weak, he has not regained much mobility on his left side and the medications used to prevent blood clots is so harsh that it alone causes additional complications.

Last fall he started calling and telling me he wanted to return to Minnesota. He called us all hours of the day and night. He left multiple repetitive and angry messages on our phones and then became even more angry when we didn't answer (we were working). He wanted my brother and I to come get him. Even now when I talk to him he goes back and forth between knowing he can't do things to thinking he can come back here, live on his own and if he could just find his keys, he would go out, get in his truck and drive himself back. He was paranoid (that's not unusual for him) but it was worse than usual and he was manipulating family members to fight each other as well as for sympathy. These behaviors have decreased a little the past few months and I think it's because he'a failing more physically. Maybe he has just given up.

I have been a caregiver for many patients with dementia and those suffering from conditions that have caused them loss of control over their world. I understand the psychology behind these behaviors but it's different being on the inside as a family member. It's hard to block the emotional part of things; take a deep breath, step back and think about what's really going on.

Dad doesn't know I'm coming. I didn't tell any of my family until just a few weeks ago for different reasons. If dad knew I were coming to visit, he would be convinced that A and I are picking him up to drive him back. I didn't tell my mom because I didn't want her trying to hitch a ride. He has been manipulating her to the max these past months and I know his situation contributed to her mental/depression issues. Even when I told her a few weeks ago about out trip, she asked shocked if we were planning to bring him back in the RV! Seriously, I think she's delusional too! No matter how many times I talk to her about the medical risks, financial situation and liability involved, she just doesn't get it. In the end, I end up "being the bad person" for not giving a sick man what he wants. I say bullshit! Both my brothers and I believe that he is too medically unstable to transport and if he did come back here, he would have the same complaints. He would accuse us of not taking care of him too. And I know my mother well enough to know that dad wouldn't even be here 24 hours and she would be talking about how sick she was of him.

Well I should try to get some sleep now. Maybe since I wrote these things down my brain will be lighter. I'm sorry if things don't make sense but I weary. I'm sure I'm just making more of this situation in my mind and reality will be much better. Here's hoping.

35

2011-05-28T00:53:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my 35th birthday.

I worked in the morning and came home to find A had made this special banner. If you're a fan of "The Office" you will understand. If not well I just can't have your type stopping by to read. Nah, just kidding.

A has been asking for weeks...or maybe it's been months about what I want to do, where I want to go, what I want for a gift.

My choice was to stay at home and have dinner. She loves to cook. I requested grilled shrimp. She came home with these monstrous prawns.

Soaking in a marinade of key lime juice, green chilies, garlic, onion and ginger.

And grilled to perfection...even out in the pouring rain.

Served with my favorite grilled asparagus and baked potato.

I asked for a margarita cake this year. The cake and the glaze contain tequila, triple sec and margarita mix made with key limes. Once you go to the key limes, you can't go back.

We played in the yard with the dogs. When the rain came we took a nap and then got up and drank margaritas. Not a bad birthday at all.

New Levels of Insanity and a Tacky RV Make-Over

2011-05-23T01:47:00.001-05:00

Meet my 2 newest house guests.

Leeza

Chantelle

Let me stress that they are only guests and will be heading to their own homes in less than 2 weeks. They are sweet and polite but there are entirely too many dogs in this house. Leeza and Chantelle's addition brings us to the insane number of 10. Yes, that's right I said TEN!! When I sighed and muttered those words this morning, A practically dropped to her knees rejoicing that I realize that fact.

When A and I finalized our trip to Ohio, we couldn't very well leave without at least offering to transport any dogs that needed to head east. We have foster homes along the route and with gas prices, well transports are becoming more limited. Early last week it appeared that we weren't going to have any extras along but by the middle of the week, two adopters had contacted us about meeting along our route to pick up their newest addition. By Friday, I had it all planned out and Saturday I picked them up while doing my previously planned transport. I can't help but be amazed by the dedication and efficiency of the people I work with on a regular basis; four people came from four directions and dogs were swapped, 3 headed for adoptive homes and another 6 headed for the first time into a foster home. It was a good day.

Between all the seemingly non-stop rain we have managed to get the RV road ready. The all important engine maintenance and wheel and tire conversion was completed a few weeks ago. Then we decided to start a little make-over on the interior. We plan to paint but don't have time to get into that yet so we started easy by covering the retro sea-foam green 1987 interior and replacing the curtains with bright colors and now we're kind of hippie-ish.

Before

A said she wanted bright colors and I aim to please. In the rear there are two more windows with turquoise, purple and pink curtains and I covered the rear bench with a bright polka dot sheet. Now I can't wait to start painting.
For the driver and passenger seats we chose blue Hawaiian seat covers. Once A got a look at those, she decided she wouldn't be satisfied without a dashboard hula girl to complete the look. Meet "Sweet Leilani". I found her and several others on Ebay. A made her choice and I had her shipped to us from Hawaii even though I'm sure her point of origin is China. Looks like she is more traveled than us already.

What can I say except that when we decide to go tacky and cliche, we go all the way.

My favorite part of this picture is A's lumbar support pillow in the driver's seat. :)

Before placing Leilani on the dashboard for our hula-ing pleasure, A just couldn't resist finding out what she had on under that skirt. For the record, she has a yellow bikini.

Here in Minnesota, spring has finally arrived in some way, shape or form. It's been extremely rainy and cooler than normal but that doesn't stop life from struggling forward. The farmers may not be able to get into the fields but the plants have managed to push through the soil. The leaves appeared on the trees overnight and my hostas shot up like magic. The rosebushes are filling out and the ants are already working on the peony buds. A planted her salsa garden; herbs, tomato and pepper plants yesterday between scattered thunderstorms. We just can't keep waiting for mother-nature to get her ass in gear.

This Life is All Just an Adventure (And A Long Post)

2011-05-09T14:58:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning to thunder and lightening and hail. For one brief moment I thought I should get up and check things out...but then I rolled over and my muscles groaned and I decided I wasn't going anywhere. I looked at the kitty sleeping on my pillow and moaned, "Can't I have just one more day at home?" A few hours later I got my wish; work called to tell me my schedule had fallen apart. Yeah, I get to stay home.

My weekend started at 5pm Friday on a gloomy note. I left work and as I turned toward home I could see a huge storm cloud in the distance. All I could think was great, finally a beautiful day stuck indoors and just as I get to go home, here comes the rain again. Fuck!!
Luckily is was just a quick moving rain cloud and I just missed the sun-shower as I drove up to a lake just 5 miles from my house. Instead I was treated with a view of this beautiful rainbow.

At home A had the same idea and took a picture from our backyard.

It ended up being a lovely evening and we spent it at home.

Saturday I woke early to a beautiful sunny day. It was a little cool, only in the 50s but perfect weather for walking/running. It was especially nice for me who had not been out training for over 2+ weeks because of the cold rain/snow. We actually made it out the door and to the 5K early (because I'm usually running late) and we got to see the 1/2 marathon runners start.

Before the 5K, the 5 of us posed for one last photo just in case someone dropped over beside the road. I have to admit that some of us (mainly me) were kind of lazy 5Kers. We walked up hills and jogged down. We just wanted to finish before time was up. I did get a little stressed at one point. We came around a corner and the Boy Scouts were set up handing out water. Someone asked how far to the finish and I swore she said we were 1 mile in. At this point I'm starting to panic, "OMG A, did she say we've only went a mile! That can't be right! We still have 2 miles! I can't go another 2 miles!!" Picture that I'm panting and wanting to die. A just tried to reassure me that only a mile left, "Just keep thinking Blood Mary, Bloody Mary". I told her I don't like Bloody Marys that damn much!

All my life I've heard of the mythical "Runners High". What a fucking joke! Afterward I had that damn lactic acid burn in my legs and the girls told me that was supposed to be a great feeling. I told them that feeling is only great if induced by wild, mind-blowing sex. Otherwise, it's a waste!

The girl who had my camera didn't know how to turn it on, so she didn't get a picture of us crossing the finish line. But we finished in 39:22. The first of our group finished in 32:04 and everyone else fell in between. The average finish for the whole 5K was 41:26 so we were all better than average. Bonus, no cramp in my side!

Afterward, Bloody Mary, beer chaser and a huge-ass breakfast that calorie content surpassed what I had just burnt off. I will admit, that after my belly was full, I agreed to do it again next year. I'm a glutton for punishment.

We came home and spent some time outside with the dogs. Last year at our rescue auction I won a dog agility set and wanted to try out the tunnel; some sniffed it, others just avoided it. A thought it would be a good idea to climb in and maybe entice the dogs inside.

Okay, now they're interested.

Jill even went inside for a minute.

But then she got stuck and the dogs scattered. Notice, I take pictures but don't rush to help her. I wonder what my neighbors think. Even after all this, we had to go grocery shopping plus I had extra stops to make. By the time we came home that night, I could barely walk. Every muscle in the lower 1/2 of my body was screaming and I was asking myself why the hell do I do these things without properly preparing.

Mother's Day went off without a hitch. A and I both invited our mothers out to brunch at a nearby restaurant. It's on the river and they have great outdoor spaces and a lot of feeders and nesting areas to attract birds and other wildlife. It was busy and they didn't accept reservations but the awesome breakfast was worth the wait.

After the moms went home, A got to work installing a new stereo system in the RV. Sounds simple until you realize the RV is 24 years old and so is the old radio. We knew we needed to install new speakers but when we pulled the old radio out, well things were just wired differently back then. The radios didn't need as much power and there were only 5 wires. A new stereo has more like 15-20 wires and needs additional power from wires that don't exist. This endeavor required removing part of the dash, a Dremel to cut a larger opening and sacrificing the cigarette lighter for extra power. All in all, it worked out well and A gets an A+ for effort on that project.

2011-05-06T00:01:00.000-05:00

Tonight I was doing my regular dinner preparation for the dogs. Here there is not just throwing some kibble in a bowl. There is food to be soaked and softened for the old toothless dogs, chicken to be cleaned and divided evenly (okay, I admit the old man gets a little extra) and all the while there is dancing and leaping and scratching and woo-wooing and the chirping of LuLu. Tonight during all this chaos, A stood leaning against the counter watching. When I asked her what she was smiling about she just simply stated "If this all ended tomorrow, you would miss it." I rolled my eyes and sighed and muttered sarcastically about this glorious existence I live. This is how I've spent almost every evening for the past 5 years and she's right, I wouldn't change a thing.

I've been a bit absent here but I have a good excuse; once again my procrastination has caught up to me. I've been cramming some online continuing education classes in to complete my licensure requirements. Suddenly, it's my birthday month and I find myself unprepared. I'm happy to finally have that done. In two years, I'll probably find myself in the same boat. I've also taken on some new responsibilities with the rescue. Somehow I fell into Home Visit Coordinator for the Midwest. Huh? It is basically working with other rescues to find people to complete the home visit in areas where we don't have our own volunteers. The woman who was handling it had some medical issues with her husband so she's got her hands full. I have no experience but I'm sure I will find my way and I have great experienced people guiding me.

We also had a visitor for a week. Miss Leaha was our first foster. When she was adopted I cried for a week even though she was rowdy, unruly and bossy. She was adopted by a woman and then returned to rescue 7 months later because the woman was working all the time and Leaha was alone too much. Since then she has been in another foster home, but we wanted to get her into an area where she could get more exposure. She came here on a stop and then onward to South Dakota. She's such a pretty girl; almost 4 years old and still looks like a puppy. I was happy to see she's not quite as sassy these days.

Last Saturday we spent the whole day at PetsMart for an adoption event. There's no way to describe it except exhausting. Still we packed up all the dogs and supplies and hauled everyone out into the cold rain in hopes of finding someone a home. This little girl Cassie is always a star and charms everyone, but for some reason she's still here. Don't tell A that I really don't mind since she's my little cuddle buddy most evenings.

Maybe I need to start dressing them up like this...Oh, I want to so badly!

May 1st we woke up to 33 degrees and snow flurries. We said fuck it and brought the RV home anyway. I'm happy to report it started right up and we had no mouse damage. We have just four short weeks until we leave on our first road trip of the season. Honestly, it's all I can think about these days. I NEED to get he hell out of town. I'm hoping that a vacation will drastically change my point of view.

She Knows My Weaknesses

2011-04-12T23:25:00.000-05:00

I swear, A is on a mission to keep me chubby! I just ordered a new swimsuit...one of the most depressing things a woman can do and then I came home today to find this waiting for me in the kitchen.

Damn, damn, damn her!
(And yes, you know damn well I ate them too.)

Tag, I'm It!

2011-04-10T20:01:00.001-05:00

Kym over at The Cuteness of Curiosity tagged me for this one. Thanks Kym.

The Rules:
* Thank the person who tagged you.
* Share 7 random facts about yourself.
* Tag a few of your favorite bloggers and let them know.

So let me see what I can come up with for this one. Hmmmm.

1. I love the beach and can hang out there all day but I don't like swimming in the ocean/lake/river. I hate the fact I can't see what's down there. If something in that water touches me...ugh! I imagine whatever it is resembles this and I can practically walk on water to get outta there!

On that same note, I will jump out of an airplane at 15,000 feet but the idea of scuba diving or even snorkeling out in open water freaks me out. I guess I've seen Jaws too many times. I will not consider a submersible either.

2. I'm addicted to Stride gum (sweet peppermint is my fav), Excedrin, purses and shoes, especially flip-flops.

3. I don't remember ever really wanting children. Through my 20s and into my 30s I kept waiting to see if that "need" would ever emerge. It never has and I now think I was born lacking that in my genetics.

4. I hate carrots and celery but love spinach and brussel sprouts. Makes absolutely no sense, I know.

5. I am almost always running late...for work, appointments and life in general. I always say I'll be late to my own funeral. My lateness is usually exaggerated by the fact I stop to catch cats in the ditch or take turtles across the road. A on the other hand is always early so if we are going somewhere together, we balance each other out.

6. I NEVER leave the house without make up. I'm not saying I'm completely done up but I at least have few swipes of mineral foundation and mascara at the bare minimum.

7. I'm afraid of the dark and always have a nightlight. It used to bother A but now even when we stay at a hotel on in the RV, she always leaves the bathroom light on with the door cracked so I will be comfortable.

So I'm breaking the rules (again) and not tagging anyone but would love to read 7 Facts about any one of you.

This And That and Some Other Stuff Too

2011-04-07T00:53:00.007-05:00

For the last couple weeks A and I have been trying to get our butts in gear for a 5K. One of the women I work with did it last spring and afterwards she was talking about how we should do it as an office this year. At the time I said yes and then forgot. She didn't and 2 weeks ago pulled out the paperwork. Holy shit, we've only got 6 weeks (down to 4 weeks now)! Really it's only 3.10685596 miles (I had to look it up) but well I'm just not a runner. I've always believed that the only running I should do is for my life. Since I live kind of low key, that opportunity has never presented itself. I'm more of a speed walking kind of gal. I imagine I'll do a combination of walking and jogging since I'm not in it to beat any certain time; just to finish before time is up. That means I may coast in at 44 mins and 59 sec but damn I will be finished in time and then we're off for Bloody Mary's.

Whenever I think of running, I start feeling that sharp knife pain in my side and I remember those horrible days in gym class when you had to do laps around the football field. I tried every suggestion to stop from cramping but nothing ever worked. It was a miserable experience and then afterwards I would be forced to go back to class and take a math test or give an oral report. My god, I just realized I'm still traumatized.

The weather is finally improving and just this week the snow is finally gone from my yard and most of the world around us. Still there are no real signs of life out there yet but maybe I saw some buds on the trees. This means we have finally started taking LuLu out into the yard, after we catch her of course.

She's more comfortable but still a work in progress. She will come take food from our hands and lick peanut butter off our fingers. She scratches at my leg when I'm getting her dinner ready. Every few approaches she may let us scratch under her chin or behind her ear for maybe 5 seconds and then she's off again. Catching her means cornering her and I have tried to limit that as much as possible. I see her watching the others get attention and can tell she wants to join in; 9.5 weeks in and only a little progress. I still have hope since it took nearly 8 months before I could touch Orville without catching him.

Around here life with 8 dogs is still kind of a zoo. It has been wonderful to be able to just leave the back door open when we're home and let the crew wander in/out as much as they want. It really is like living in a house with 8 toddlers and no matter how much we try to dog-proof the house, they find things to get into. I mean look at this book. It's been on that spot on the book shelf for months and just today they decided to rearrange the cover. I didn't find all the pieces so I can only assume someone ingested it.

Plus it doesn't help that we bring home exotic new things like a pineapple.

Look at Cassie take that thing down. We watched for awhile and then I asked A if pineapple on the list as being poisonous to dogs. We couldn't remember so took it away just in case.

My little earless cat Tippy watches it all with disgust. I know she misses the days when there were no dirty smelly dogs in her house.

We used that pineapple to make my "This Shit is Gonna Kill Ya" Pineapple Upside Down Cake. Made with two sticks of butter (the real stuff) and topped with a mound of real homemade whipped cream (why try to save calories now) and you can feel your arteries forming a new layer of plaque.

Saturday A and I went to check out a tattoo artist and made a little side trip to check out the Minnesota River. It's high and there is flooding but it's in the places that it usually flood every year.

In the past they have closed this bridge when the water was too high. Even with all the heavy flooding predictions this year, it's not even close. We wandered along the riverbank and around the municipal campground and as we walked through the playground and back to the car I noticed this piece of paper on the ground. I thought it looked old and flipped it over with the toe of my shoe.

It's army postmarked December 23, 1943 and addressed to Iowa. Such an interesting find and I couldn't believe it wasn't wet, wrinkled or damaged in any way.

Saturday night we stopped to visit with our friends Faye and Jeff. He had an Elvis show in the town where I work. We had a lot to catch up on since they had just returned from Hawaii a few days prior. This bar isn't my favorite place to go since 90% of the people in there are patients at my clinic. I don't want to talk to people about work or their dental problems and I really want to maintain some professional distance. That means I sit and quietly visit and hope people don't approach me. Even going to the bathroom can be a gamble since I've been cornered in there a few times by people pulling at their cheek and saying "Take a look at this." Ugh!!!

I did have an unexpected encounter with an old friend that I haven't seen or talked to in nearly eight years. We had a falling out; we were both mad and hurt. A and I chose to extract ourselves from the high-drama situation and have kept a distance since. The two of us visited and laughed and after a short time it was like no time had passed at all. I've been "over it" for a long time already but it was still nice to finally put those things fully to rest.

A has been wanting to get another tattoo and I'm planning one for my birthday this year. We had heard good things about this artist and stopped in to check out his work. We didn't have time Saturday but A made an appointment this afternoon and came home with fresh ink on her right shoulder. Isn't it sweet how she sacrifices her body to test things out for me? :)

I took this picture as soon as she came home and I'm glad I did because shortly after it was red and swollen. This is a car decal that A picked up in Key West during one of our trips. We took a photo and she took it in and he did it all freehand. He did an awesome job and I'm getting excited to have him do my first tattoo in just a few weeks.

So the RV comes out of storage next weekend. Yippee!

When we first brought it home, we considered doing some painting inside to lighten it up a bit. It's brown paneling and so dark but then we thought we would just keep the retro feel of it. That was until I came across these pictures on an RV blog (Kate and Terry-Travels in Cholula Red). A really thinks we should do some variation of this paint job.

Love it or hate it? Should we consider doing something like this?

Maybe I'm Just Feeling Squirrelly

2011-03-30T00:00:00.003-05:00

But something about this picture just made me giggle.

Happy Wednesday!

This one goes to the dogs.

2011-03-28T01:11:00.001-05:00

Finally!
We had a beautiful weekend. There are the faint signs of spring around and even though it was still cool you hardly noticed with all that glorious sunshine. We made it outside to go walking and maybe I'll be ready for the 5K we're doing in 6 weeks. I've fallen behind in my walking/jogging the last few weeks considering both A and I have been under a funk; she had a nasty upper respiratory and I've just been in a blue mood.

We started the weekend by celebrating Sia's 10th birthday. I know, I know....we baked a cake and added candles for a dog but what the hell, 10 years is a milestone for a little dog. She must be up around 50 in human years. Somewhere I have a conversion chart for dog to human years but I don't feel like finding it right now so I'm just estimating. No matter what, she's my baby girl and she and the others thoroughly enjoyed their cake.

No frosting but they did get Reddi-Whip. I could apologize for my appearance in these pictures but fuck it! I just came home from an extremely long Friday and was in no mood to try to look presentable.

Friday Gizzy's doggy stroller arrived and we strapped in him for a test drive. With his bad knees he just can't walk as far as he used to. He was a little nervous at first but I think he will enjoy it and A gets to be the one shamed by pushing a dog in a stroller.

Saturday we had to go do the dreaded grocery shopping. Ugh! There are few things I hate more. A buys me Starbucks and tries to keep me entertained and I appreciate all her efforts. At one point we were in the meat department and I spotted a middle-aged woman with really long hair. You know, the kind that is past their butt, straight and with ragged split ends. Whenever I see hair like that, I have an incredible urge to take the scissors to it. So much so that last year I almost ran a woman down in the Memphis airport to give her $12 and send her to Great Clips. A spotted the hair at the same time and muttered that it "would make a nice nest for 2 kangaroo rats". I immediately started to giggle and the more I did the funnier it got. We received a few odd looks from other shoppers. I mean we are two adults laughing so hard we have tears while standing next to the poultry. I know it was one of those things where you just had to be there and maybe it was all the caffeine and sugar in my vanilla latte but it's those little moments spent with someone you love intensely, who loves you back just the same that are so special. In situations like these, A almost always leans in and tells me how happy she is that at least I find her funny. Yeah, she makes me laugh like no one else.

The grocery store we frequent has a large (and over-priced) floral department and we usually cruise through to check things out. Over the years we've found some cute planters there that we have been able to closely replicate on the cheap. This day I found these beautiful blue orchids at an inflated price.

I immediately thought of Bethany and how much she would appreciate these. Although I found them stunning, I can just picture one of the dogs running through the house with those blue petals in their mouth. Lets just say it wouldn't end well.

So we have just about 2 months until we go on our first "big" RV trip and Nipples to the Wind is still stuck in storage. It's too wet and muddy to drive it out of the storage shed and we really don't want to get that thing stuck in our friend's yard. Still we're getting anxious because we still need to un-winterize it, change the oil, get new wheels and tires installed and most importantly install a new stereo and speakers. I'm trying to be patient but just don't want to feel rushed/stressed trying to get things done on a deadline.
Patience....that's what I must keep chanting to myself. Happy Monday.

I've Got Nothing

2011-03-22T23:51:00.007-05:00

I was home all day. I had a list of things I wanted to get done today but got no where. I started several blog posts but just wasn't feeling it. Pretty much the only thing I did accomplish was purse shopping online. I was weak and it was so bright, shiny and spring-like that I just couldn't resist.
Otherwise not much going on around here; no stories to tell and no interesting pictures to post. Today I received a link to this photo display so I'm sharing it. We've all seen photographs like these in black and white but they are even more incredible in color.

Rare Color Photographs of America Before WWII

Getting Facebook Bitchy

2011-03-16T23:46:00.001-05:00

And I don't give a fuck who I piss off either.

My dear friend Ash (who was married last year in Jamaica) is expecting her first baby in June. What I love about Ash is that she's a smart, tell-it-like-it-is, no bullshit kind of person. I know she's going to be that kind of parent too. But like all first time mothers (I imagine), she's nervous and questioning and finding her way.

Anyway, today on Facebook she posted pictures of her nursery. Two simple pictures started a fire-storm of criticism. Someone started by asking if it was or was not okay to have bumpers on the crib and then it went on and on from there. Every know-it-all on FB had to throw in their opinion but one bitch really pissed me off. She started out talking about how she works for the state and has investigated many SIDS deaths (her FB profile says she's a secretary for the state) and that you only do things this way and lay your baby that way and NEVER take your baby in bed with you and that's what's best because those are the laws for every daycare in the state, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Maybe I'm just feeling bitchy tonight but it just pissed me off. I'm so annoyed with the fact that some people think that just because a woman is pregnant, she's suddenly public property. Pregnant and new mothers can be so vulnerable because they are inexperienced and anxious. Then you have people who come into the situation and feed into those anxieties. So some women end up constantly worrying about doing something wrong instead of following their instincts and enjoying the experience. I made some smart ass comment on FB about how I don't know how women have managed to have babies since the beginning of time without the "help" of government regulations. And that Adam and Eve are lucky they made it through before someone made all the rules

Then I sent Ash a message to follow her instincts. I know she's going to be a great mommy. And I love her response to the bitch. It went something like; as parents we all want the best for our children and I have read the recommendations and they keep changing every year. These are guidelines and the ultimate decisions are made by the parents based on the needs of their child. You tell'em Ash!

Jill-e-bean: Before and After

2011-03-16T00:52:00.001-05:00

What a difference six months makes.

Sept 2010

March 2011

She doesn't even look like the same dog.

2011-03-09T23:07:00.001-06:00

Photo by Michael Yamashita

I just love this photograph. I came across it a few days ago and something about it looks so familiar; like I've been there before or A and I have walked that path somewhere along the way. Or maybe it's just the color or the incredible need I have to get outside and go hiking. I don't know but I enjoy it anyway.

So I guess it's Ash Wednesday. I didn't even realize it until my boss said something this afternoon. I don't participate in such things and really don't care to start now. I don't have ashes smeared on my forehead or give up meat or sacrifice something for Lent. He started by asking me if I had plans this evening and after I said I had nothing special planned he asked the question "Do you ever take part in the Ash Wednesday services?" Of course he knows my answer; we've had these conversations before. I've had multiple invitations to come to his church. I always politely decline. But you can almost read the thought of "godless heathen" on his face. Ugh!

All I know is that during my childhood, mom dragged us all from one church to another; almost every possible Christian denomination. The locations may have been different but the people were all the same. She was always looking for something; maybe an answer to her problems or depression or maybe just peace. She lived with the belief that life was hard because it was all a test of faith and the more you endured on earth the greater the reward in heaven. Whatever! Even now she still searches and obviously she still hasn't found what she's searching for in any church or Bible. I guess these days she's settled for searching for it in the bottle of brandy.

But what do I know...I'm just a kid in the grand scheme of things but until you can supply me with some proof, I'm not changing my mind.

Embarrassed Much?

2011-03-02T23:54:00.001-06:00

A and I text each other often during our work day. It's the usual "how's your day?" or "what do you want for dinner?" and often "I love you" and "miss you." Sometimes when the mood strikes those texts can be a little more racy too. It's kind of like all day foreplay.

Monday morning I received a panicky call from A. She had written a colorful and rather naughty text for me. She hit send and then was horrified when is was sending to her ex, Mimi. She started pushing the end button over and over but it was too late...it was already up in the air. She quickly sent a second message to apologize and explain that was meant for me. Mimi responded with a huge smile and the comment that she enjoyed the sentiment.

I told A it probably made her year since she was just bemoaning the fact her wife isn't very romantic.

I think it will be years before A lives down the shame of this one.

The Seven Year Itch?

2011-02-21T23:47:00.004-06:00

I've been thinking about it a lot these days; dreaming, scheming, planning for a way to make it work.

I find myself wondering what would I do, where would I go, what it would be like.

I've always had a short attention span. I need variety, change, challenge, something to hold my interest.

But there's always so much stress in making these types of changes.

A tells me to not be impulsive...it's just a phase. Maybe we just need to get away for a while; a vacation, a different point of view. I need to find the spark again.

No, I'm not talking about my relationship thankfully. I often tell A she is certainly something special to have kept this gemini intersted after all these years (no small feat I must admit). But I am thinking about my career. I'm feeling very blah and negative about my job recently. I really hate that negativity too. I hate feeling it and thinking it. It affects me physically with tension in my neck and back, headaches. I find myself not speaking much because I have nothing good to say.

My mom would say "shit or get off the pot". Hmmm...now the big question is, what do I want to do next?

Dreaming Big

2011-02-14T10:33:00.002-06:00

Happy Valentine's day to all of you celebrating and happy Monday to those who are not. We don't usually do the flowers/candy/dinner thing and would rather spend our time together doing something we both enjoy. This year part of our celebration consisted of spending Saturday at the Minneapolis RV show.

I lost count of all the campers and motorhomes we toured. All I know is that we should have never started with the big Class A motorcoaches. After looking at those, the smaller Class C's are very disappointing. A has come to the decision that when it's time to upgrade, we're going with the big rig. She was especially interested in this one.

We would buy used of course since most of these new cost more than our house! The thing is I can just see A behind the wheel...and if you ever see me behind the wheel you better get outta my way!

When we arrived at the show it was early and still kind of quiet but as the afternoon progressed it became busier and people...well people just became more of their disgusting selves. Who walks into an RV and farts? The stench of BO was so overwhelming in a few areas that we had to leave. Seriously people, soap, water and deodorant are cheap...use some!

This past week we booked our first big RV trip for the summer and we're heading east. Off to visit family and friends. We rented a car so we can take off on a couple day trips but we're not really sure where we are heading yet. Maybe east? Maybe south? Who knows but that's the fun part. I'm sure we'll find something to get into.

I sent A an email card this morning. I always wondered what I would look like as a blonde.
http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/zKSf9asYGNjDSlIblaOW

What Would You Do?

2011-02-06T19:00:00.000-06:00

If you woke up on a beautiful Saturday morning to find this in your yard.

A pair of men's army green boxer briefs with a distinctive shit stain in the rear.

That's right baby, return to sender.

I can't wait for summer. *sigh*

Needs

2011-02-02T22:31:00.001-06:00

Tonight A was downstairs working out. I went down to find her just finishing up.

Me: Babe, I have a need.

A Really?! *big smile and puffing up* Well I'm sweaty but give me a few minutes and I'll meet you in bed.

Me: *sigh* Noooo, I mean I NEED some cake or brownies...maybe some cookies.

A: *looking very disappointed*

Me: I've been combing the cupboards and we don't even have anything to bake. Would you go to the store and get something?

A: *smiling and shaking her head* Of course...what do you want?

So she got dressed and braved the extremely cold temperatures just to go pick up something sweet for me from the store. The really sad thing...even after all that niceness, I still didn't give her what she really wanted. I'm bad, bad, BAD....and very spoiled. What can I say except that some needs sometimes overpower others.

It Can't Possibly Be Monday Already!

2011-01-31T09:42:00.001-06:00

My weekend was a blur. I can't believe it's over already.

Friday morning I found out my car will not be finished until Tuesday. They are waiting for the last part-my bumper cover- to arrive and then it needs to be painted which takes even longer. *sigh*. I'm really hoping they are right since I'm so sick of my rental; it rides rough and doesn't corner worth a shit plus it's an automatic. It gets me to work though and I could be driving A's piece of shit truck with questionable brakes and an even more questionable starter.

Then I was rushing to get finished with work Friday since I had a 1.5 hour drive to take Nifty to another rescuer's home. Of course when you have to be somewhere you can NEVER get out on time. That meant rushing home and rushing around and that just increased my anxiety about her leaving. A and I put a pillow over the console between the front seats and Nifty rode there comfortably and was petted and cuddled the whole way. Of course the only one stressed was me; the change is harder on me than on her. Nifty was cool as could be and just walked in that house and the next rescuer's house Saturday like she had always been there. Her new mama and I have been chatting as she gets everything ready for Nifty's arrival. She wants her to be as comfortable as possible. I don't think it's going to be a problem.

Last July we picked up some dogs from a breeder and then transported them south for their vetting. That day I met a tiny little mill mama named Jackie O. It was love at first sight as I watched her scoot on her belly and bury her face in the grass; nervous little tail wagging. Friday her foster mom, Joanne, left a message asking if we would be willing to bring her home with us; kind of a Nifty trade or consolation prize. LuLu is so timid and after 6 months in foster care she hasn't made much progress. She hoped LuLu could benefit from a smaller quieter environment and we have experience with this type of rescue. Joanne knows just how to work me (I've mentioned my love of LuLu many times) but getting by the "gate-keeper" is another story. A who had said no more fosters for awhile gave in surprisingly easy. I didn't really even ask (or beg); I just told her the situation and asked her opinion. So let me introduce LuLu (no drumroll please-that's way too scary).

She is 5 years old and the smallest creature in this house...even the cats look huge next to her. I would estimate she is only about 5-6 pounds and the smallest chin I've ever fostered but not the smallest I've seen. She scuttles from one dog bed to another and does all she can to avoid contact with us...except when food is involved. We've been luring her in with bits of chicken and fingers dipped in yogurt.

Saturday I dragged my tired ass out of bed to go help at an adoption event in the Twin Cities. I took 2 foster girls along for the marathon 5 hour event. It actually stretched into 6 hours (plus a one hour drive each way) and people were still approaching us as we were heading for the door. It was incredibly busy and I know I easily talked with a hundred people. As A has written about before, dealing with all those people can be a challenge for me but luckily talking about the dogs/rescue is something I can visit about all day. There was only me and one other rescuer there for our group so I literally talked non-stop the entire time. My foster girl Cassie was a standout; friendly and greeting everyone and she had a lot of interest. We don't do on-the-spot adoptions but one of our previous adopters (actually he adopted 3 from us in the last 2 years) showed up and took home a 4th. I'm happy to say that most people were asking "good" questions about the chins. I like that but then there are always a few that I think "You fucking ignorant asshole!".

It's fun sometimes just to listen to people because a lot of idiots lack a censor. Give them enough time and they will tell you everything you need to know. One guy was looking for a couple dogs to breed (duh, we're trying to get them out of the breeding cycle), a woman was visiting with me and her son asked if these dogs like to run away since their dog "runs away all the time". Okay, big red flag beacon flashing over their heads! I had one particular woman who became a pest and was actually a little confrontational. During our multiple visits she had told me she had returned one dog and had 2 others put down because she could not house train them. She kept pressuring me for a "guarantee" that one of our dogs would be completely housebroken and telling me another group had offered that guarantee. After 4.5 hours into the event and 4 conversations with this bitch, I finally (and politely) put the smack down on her. "Ma'am, I don't know exactly what you want from me, but I cannot and will not offer a guarantee that any of our dogs will be completely housebroken and any rescue who tells you that is lying. The only fully reliably trained animal is a stuffed one." She stomped off but I don't feel like it's any great loss.

As you can imagine, Sunday I spent my day in a vegetative state on the couch. Now It's time to shovel some snow so I can get to work today. I took the day off tomorrow for no particular reason...I just wanted to. Happy Monday to you all!

Not a lot of substance but a whole lot of pictures.

2011-01-28T00:07:00.001-06:00

One of my favorite Christmas gifts this year was a new negative/slide scanner. I've been scanning old negatives/pictures but my old machine was so slow. With this one I was able to scan over 2800 negatives in just a few hours over a few weekends. It has certainly been a walk down memory lane. There are the big vacations and special occasions that you remember pretty well. I have many of those pictures displayed around the house as well as photo albums full. The most fun part was finding all the forgotten moments; weekend getaways, day trips, nights out and just goofy times around the house. I mean, really what is the point of this picture.

I found a lot of pictures of us right before and in the beginning of our relationship. I look at my 23/24 year old self and remember all the turmoil of that time. Really, when we started dating I was a wreck...just felt lost, confused, unfocused and mostly alone. I was doing all the things I was "supposed" to do; working and going to school but then feeling like I was just floating along with no goal in sight. When I met A I found my other half as well as the person who became the rock of my life. For once this was a person that didn't "need" me to take care of them. I found a person I could totally relax with, let down my guard, not build walls. Honestly, that's what I do best. I have people in my life, but I find myself always keeping then at arms length; always a safe distance, never fully trusting or allowing myself to truly be known. I realize I do this. I'm always working to change these behaviors but I struggle with it often. I think I know the reasons why. Maybe it's just my nature. With A those behaviors don't exist. She sees me as I truly am; moody, bitchy, bossy, no makeup, vomiting, crying and for some crazy reason she loves me anyway.

So here's a bunch of pictures of us taken in the early days on one of our first trips together. We had been together less than a year when we took the trip that was the real test of our compatibility - a 10 day camping/hiking trip. We slept in a tent, I fell down a hill, we almost got bit by a rattlesnake, A almost passed out while climbing, we froze our butts sleeping on the ground when it was 36 degrees and we had a blast. We didn't have even one argument...I would never make it through that now without getting a little bitchy.

Getting chased by a greedy "wild" donkey.

Mt. Coolidge

Badlands of South Dakota

Mt. Rushmore

Waiting for dinner.

My nasty horse Eli. He constantly tried to bite me.

A's birthday decorations...

...and birthday cake.

Sylvan Lake

Top of Harney Peak-highest point in U.S. east of the Rockies.

Climbing the base of Devil's Tower

It's official that Miss Nifty has a new home in Boston. After living with us for 7 months, tonight is the last night she will spend here. Tomorrow afternoon she starts her journey east to her forever home. I didn't cry as much this time...maybe I got it all out last time I thought she was leaving. Yeah right! Who the fuck am I fooling. Tomorrow when I drop her off I'll cry like a baby when I say goodbye. When I'm home, this is typical Nifty behavior; always on my lap and giving kisses. Her new mama is going to be smitten when she finally meets her new baby.

"I see a bad moon rising..."

2011-01-21T15:04:00.002-06:00

This morning when I got into my car Creedence was on the radio. It was a sign. Driving to work this morning there was a flash in the corner of my eye and then I hit something, HARD! All I could see were pieces of my car flying. I was able to pull over and got out to see the front of my car destroyed and then I looked down to see the worst thing...I had hit a dog and it was still wedged under my car. I was going about 60mph and it was a quick death. That's the one thing I can be thankful for because I don't know what I would have done otherwise. Bonus, it's also the coldest morning of the winter at a lovely -28 degrees. The sheriff came and while we waited for the tow truck, we stopped at houses up and down the road trying to locate the owner without any luck. That's the part that's hardest for me...there's no one to contact. My car...well that's really nothing more than an inconvience. I'll pick up a rental. I'll pay my portion for the repairs. I just can't stand to leave her lying on the side of the road like a piece of trash. I don't know if she had a name. I don't know if someone loved her. If I can't locate her owner, I'll just have to take care of the body myself.

A left work to come pick me up and then went back. I didn't go to work today. I wouldn't have been much good anyway. Instead I came home and hugged my babies extra close. So that's the end of my sad, downer post, but I learned something today. Did you know the towing company charges an extra fee if they have to remove a corpse? Who knew.

The first 3 weeks of this year have been busy. I think back trying to remember what we've been up to and I can't think of anything too spectacular. I've sat down to write several times and just can't find the words. We stay busy with rescue stuff. My Nifty is still here after her last adoption fell through but she now has an inquiry from Boston. I've been emailing with the woman and it sounds like a good match. Last weekend we went to my office Christmas party. It was a murder mystery dinner and we all dressed like famous characters and had to try to figure out who was the murderer. We had Judy Garland, Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley, Marilyn Monroe, Lucille Ball, John Wayne, Ginger Rogers, Fred Astaire and many others. A was chosen to be a police detective and I had to be Elvis. It was a easy costume for me to pull off. I just slicked my hair back and my glasses had the sideburns attached.

I'm not much of a drinker and really haven't had more than a glass of wine on several occasions since last summer, but I got caught up on the Long Island expressway; four and a half Long Islands plus my boss bought us girls "Screaming Orgasms" and we took shots of whiskey from his flask. Lets just say it's probably best that I'm a puker. I only cut loose about once a year but I'm banning myself from ever returning to Long Island!

I finally exited the cave...and a late holiday update

2011-01-03T23:36:00.002-06:00

Today I made my first public appearance of 2011. I crawled out, squinted at that ball of light in the hazy sky that used to be the sun and prepared to re-enter the world after I spent a three day weekend holed up in this house in my PJs. Okay, okay, I did venture outside a few times and did go out walking with A, but I don't consider it a public appearance when I'm dressed like this and completely unrecognizable.

It was so damn cold and windy that we didn't meet up with one other living creature anyway.

I am a night person and these last few weeks I've easily slipped back into my night owl ways. I get the most accomplished during the evening and night...and do even better with an afternoon nap thrown in. So after a 3am bedtime, I dragged my sorry (and bloated) ass out of bed this morning to go to the chiropractor. That's the one thing I do every month that I love and I feel so much better afterward. I was especially looking forward to today's appointment since for the last 2 weeks it's felt like a knife was shoved under my right shoulder blade. A would massage the area and it would release then knot back up after a few days. I'm starting to think I may be the victim of a voodoo curse. I'll definitely be making several trips to get this one fixed.

A has been busy cooking out of her "Pioneer Woman" cookbook that she received for Christmas. Sorry SB, but she had it on her list. She did want me to share this picture with you though.

Disclaimer: The Finger is for Pioneer Woman

Last night she fed me potato and leek pizza with goat cheese. All I can say is I am one patient person and went into it with an open mind. It was tolerable...but nothing I think I would want very often. A appreciated that I was a good sport but I'm fearful of what I will be presented with tomorrow.

We had a nice quiet Christmas this year. On Christmas eve we had a small dinner and mom came with her pet (the boyfriend). They didn't stay too late and I doubt they had made it to the end of our street and we looked at each other and said "when do you want to open gifts?" The dogs had already been in the spirit for several days since they completely unwrapped one of my gifts and started 2 more.

I asked A if she was going to re-wrap them and she said hell no! We discovered Nifty was the ringleader so I wrapped the dogs' new stuffed toys and let them have at it. Nifty had a blast and completely unwrapped one without any help.

Christmas day we visited A's family and overall it was pleasant. Every year we ask A's mom to not worry about buying us gifts and every year she does. I opened my package first and found a black and purple tracksuit. Okay not the worst gift I've ever received. A opened her's and it was a matching tracksuit except brown and pink. I saw the immediate flash of horror cross her face and I muttered through closed lips "just say 'thank you' and I'll trade you when we get home." I did ask her to put on the pink just once for a photo and she was willing at the moment. Here's where that moment comes back to haunt her.

She looks like a pink nightmare.

And on this Monday evening I have just one last question...what the hell is up with John Mellencamp's hair?!

Welcome 2011!

2011-01-01T01:42:00.002-06:00

We rang in the new year at home. The weather made us change our plans this year; freezing rain, sleet, and snow. It just wasn't worth the risk traveling in this weather especially with the holiday drunks on the road. We were disappointed to miss meeting up with friends but there will be plenty of times to get together in the coming year.

We had dinner at home then bundled up to go out for our evening walk. Actually it was more like 3 miles of skating and slip-sliding along. We must be crazy to go out trudging around in this weather but I definitely feel better afterwards. At midnight we popped the cork on a bottle of champange, drank, kissed and then A went to lay down because her back was aching and I washed a dirty dog butt. What can I say, we get more wild every year. They say what you do on new year's is what you do all year and I certainly hope dirty dog butt is not a sign of times to come. Kissing A and champange...yeah as difficult as it is, I might be able to handle another year of that.

No resolutions either. This year I only endeavor to enjoy life and live for myself and my home family. I've been working to cut down on the un-necessary stress both external and internal. I'm coming to terms with the reality of my parents. I'm thankful for the all the positve and wonderful things in my life. As I read back over this it really does sound like resolutions, don't you think? These have been on-going things though and I'm not just starting today.

Whatever! Fine, just call these are my no resolutions resolutions.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Happy Holidays to All

2010-12-22T21:54:00.001-06:00

Gizzy suffered this humiliation just to wish you a Merry Christmas.

I looked for chickens singing Christmas carols but didn't find anything tolerable. So you get goats jumping around instead.

Late Nights, Holiday Overload and a Whole Lotta Heart

2010-12-21T01:44:00.000-06:00

Another fucking snowstorm and 8 more inches added to the count. Actually, I've lost count and we're running out of places to put the snow. Our driveway is already a tunnel. Luckily it's a short work week and the count down is on for that generic repetitive Christmas music in the office to be finished. A and I have been up late for days and it's thrown my whole schedule off.

I'm not finished shopping for A and I think we may make it to Christmas again this year before opening gifts. Last year was the first in 10 years together that we actually made it to the holiday. I think the earliest we ever opened was December 19th and that year we were leaving on vacation the 26th and wanted to have enough time to play with our new toys. We figure we are adults and can have Christmas any damn time we want! I have yet to wrap any of A's gifts so that helps. She has gifts for me wrapped and under the tree. Too bad that one of the dogs, and we can only guess which one, grabbed one of my gifts while in a play frenzy this evening and tore the wrapping paper off. There was much cussing but I didn't see anything. I did buy myself an early little gift, these super warm homemade mittens.

They are made from old wool sweaters and lined with fleece. They are mis-matched and each pair is one of a kind. Did I mention how fabulously warm they are? My hands have never been so happy and A is sad to have lost her hand-warming duties.

We overloaded in holiday things this weekend with shopping, baking and I finally sat down and did my cards. I doubt many people will get them before Christmas this year and I really don't care...they will get them before the New Year. I've decided I'm not accepting any more complaints for the rest of the year. Mom and I baked cookies Sunday...and of course we always overdo it. Neither of us want all these to eat and since Dad and my brother are gone from the area, we don't have many places to get rid of them. I guess some traditions just don't die. I did make some special little bone-shaped sugar cookies for the dogs and put just a tiny swipe of frosting. That will be their holiday treat.

Saturday night A and I had a concert date. She had bought tickets to see Heart at one of the nearby casinos. We went up early to have dinner and maybe do a little gambling. I have to say that slot machines are the most boring thing in the world. Everywhere you look there are people with cards clipped to their clothing and inserted into those machines, just blankly staring and pushing a button hoping for the big hit. It looks like a scene from some weird sci-fi movie. We played poker which at least involved a little thinking even if neither one of us are very good at it.

I've never been much of a fan of Heart. When I was growing up they were into the 80's pop and ballads stage. A on the other hand, loves them as the 70's rocker chicks. She saw them when she was 16 and then we saw them at Lilith this summer. We were really close to the stage.

A was in heaven, jumping up and down like a teenager and I was amazed at how great they sound live. Saturday night we were not nearly as close but it was a smaller venue that only seats 1500 and there's not a bad seat in the house. It was great to just have a night out to flirt, cuddle and hold hands with my love.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-15T18:45:00.000-06:00

Blizzard Fashonista

Stand back and try to control yourself...she's all mine. *hangs head in shame*

It's a Blizzard, Baby!

2010-12-14T03:04:00.001-06:00

It's cold, cold and fucking cold out there! That's my life here now and I'm sorry for the repetition. So another weekend at home, 20 inches of snow, wind, drifting, everything in the lower half of the state closed down. Even the roof of the Metrodome collapsed and now the poor Vikings are homeless. As if I care. I wouldn't care much normally and I care even less now.

As I stood outside shoveling poop fields for the dogs, bundled up so much I resembled the little brother from "A Christmas Story", with wind gusts blowing snow in my face, I should have known it was a sign...stormy weather coming back into my life. It's been too quiet for too long. The barometer drops and everyone goes crazy.

My dad and his family and my mom are all just getting into the game again. Dad has always been a master manipulator, now throw in a stroke, dementia, depression and the loss of control (over his body and his life) and you have manipulation to the extreme. He calls people, pushing buttons, trying to play people against each other, twisting things said/did to suit his purpose. I haven't talked to him in weeks until this weekend. I would call over and over but he wouldn't answer his phone. Friday night mom calls telling me that dad wants to come back to Minnesota, he's lonely, scared, etc. Then she's spewing all this stuff about how he's not being fed or properly cared for and on, and on, and on. I try to calm her down...I want to talk to him myself. So Sunday I finally get a chance and I just listen. I tell him that if he wants to come back to MN we can try to get things arranged but it's not going to be something that can be done overnight. He has unrealistic expectations about returning here and trying to live on his own. I know that in reality he won't be any happier living here. His condition will be the same, he will have the same complaints and the manipulations will continue. I spoke to my older brother to get his perspective and we both agreed that at least until spring we are not even going to consider moving him back.

Tonight is my late night at work and I came home to find the nastiest, rude message from my dad's sister on my voicemail. I haven't spoken to her since October, but she was accusing me of things and honestly I had no idea what she was talking about....but I have a pretty good idea where this is coming from. Honestly, throughout everything I've felt very appreciative of all that she's taken on helping dad. I realize what a lot of work it has been for her. So now I'm still awake, I have to work tomorrow and there is nothing more frustrating that getting those kinds of messages late at night when there is nothing you can say or do about them at the time. Maybe it's for the best since when I get so angry, I cry and then it's hard to communicate. But shit, it really fucks up my sleep cycle!

Really, all I want is peace and quiet. Just living my life here with A, taking care of the pups, doing my rescue duties, taking care of the things I need to and otherwise just finding happiness in what I can. I don't like people interfering in my life and try to extend the same courtesies to others. I'm really at the point of washing my hands with the whole situation and with every drama, I'm finding the sense of duty and the guilt I carry around about "being there" slipping away.

It's pretty bad when a root canal is the best part of your day.

2010-12-08T23:29:00.001-06:00

Beware, I've got some bad karma going. I woke up this morning with a migraine. You just know the state of mind you're going to be in for the day when you wake up with a headache like that. I immediately grabbed 2 Excedrin and a cup of coffee. I wanted to stay home but that wasn't an option today. Instead I spent most of the day squinting at the light.

It was -9 degrees this morning so I started my car to let it warm up before heading out to work. I looked up to see the check engine light on. I sighed with annoyance...I just went through this in August when my catalytic converter went bad and the light came on. My car was running fine...the light wasn't doing the scary blinking so I'm just blamed it on some sensor/cold weather glitch. I can hope, right?

I left for work and as I turned onto one of the back country roads, I heard the small ting of a rock hitting my windshield then a whoosh....a 2.5 foot crack across my windshield. At this point I've only been awake a total of one hour. It was truly tempting to turn around, return home and call-in dead to work.

And yes, the root canal I had later that morning was the best part of my day. I just got to lay back for over an hour, close my eyes and relax. I've been trying to convince myself for weeks I didn't need it but my boss told me today it was time. He was right as usual and tonight I'm happy to be able to eat, drink and breathe without making faces and twitching.

Now I'm going to put this day to bed and I'm hoping for a better one tomorrow. It has to get better...afterall they're predicting a 30 degree heat wave tomorrow. Pull out the bikini!

I'm cold...

2010-12-06T23:40:00.000-06:00

Let me truly express that... I'M FUCKING COLD! This winter seems to be worse than usual for me. I can't get warm, even when it's 72 degrees in here, I'm under the heating blanket and down comforter, snuggled up to A and surrounded by dogs. Add that heating blanket to my list of things I'm thankful for these days. My toes and fingers are icy all the time. Let's just say it like it is...cold hands are NOT sexy and no one wants to get frisky with a woman with frozen fingers. Well maybe some of you are into that kind of thing.

Friday afternoon we got hit with another winter storm. I was stuck at work until 5pm since I was closing. This is what it looks like to drive 25 snowy miles in the dark in white-out conditions. Yeah, that's the road ahead and my headlights.

Damn, did I get hell from A when she saw this picture! What was I thinking...why wasn't I watching the road? I told her I couldn't see anything anyway and instinct lead the way. Even in conditions like this, people are assholes...I actually had a semi flashing his lights behind me because he thought 25mph wasn't fast enough for my little car to go.

I got everything accomplished this past weekend that I had on my list and still squeezed a couple naps in too. I started Christmas shopping without stepping one foot in a store. I'm all prepared for the adoption Meet & Greet I scheduled at one of the pet supply stores next week. I've got to get some of this crew adopted. Even though I'm freezing, I was a good GF and went out walking with A; just bundled up in snow-pants, parka and boots and hiked through the snow pretending to enjoy myself. I can't spend all winter on the couch not moving no matter how much I really want to. I just keep thinking warm thoughts.

Nifty

2010-12-02T00:02:00.001-06:00

Tuesday I got the call I was dreading. At lunch I checked my phone and had a message from another rescuer. I knew there was someone from Oklahoma interested in adopting Nifty. Looks like everything was in order and now it was time to get her transported.

Nifty-Lou-Who

We needed to get her to Iowa Thursday to hitch a ride which meant Wednesday evening I would have to drive her west to another rescuer's home. Then she was heading south through several legs of the journey to Oklahoma.

I was not prepared for this. I cry each time one of my fosters gets adopted; it's such a strange mixture of happiness and loss. Nonetheless, I have my cry and then I'm okay. But Nifty is different. First I'm really attached to her. I love all the dogs that come through my door, even the naughty Cassie (dog #8), but sometimes A or I will find ourselves especially bonded to one. Secondly, I have a hard time just handing a foster dog over to someone without getting a chance to meet and observe their new family myself. I really am a control freak. I just have so much emotionally invested in them, that I like to personally see them through to the end of the journey. If it were summer, I think A and I would have packed up the RV and delivered her ourselves. Nifty is one who has been in rescue for over 2 years and been through several foster homes. When she came here in July, I promised her that she wouldn't be moved again until she was going to her forever home.

Tuesday I spent the rest of my afternoon at work trying not to cry. I'm teary and bleary eyed and wearing a mask, so my nose is running. It's just not the best for working but I struggled through the last 3 hours. Then I came home and parked on the couch with Nifty in my lap and a box of Kleenex just sobbing. All the other chins are climbing up too--they get so concerned when we are upset or cry. A tried to comfort me...that just made it worse. She went to work out and give me my space.

Later that evening I checked my email only to receive a message that the transport was cancelled. I'm not sure if the potential adopter had issues or just lost interest but for now Nifty is still here with me. If the adopter lost interest, I'm glad she did before we up-rooted this dog again. I was excited and laughing as I read the email to A and she shook her head at me laughing, "Well you certainly just turned off the tears like flipping a switch". So for now Nifty is here snuggling next to me and I'm not sure how long I have. I'm know I'm on borrowed time.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-01T06:53:00.002-06:00

Sometimes living in a small town isn't so bad.

2010-11-29T23:07:00.002-06:00

Returning to the world of the working was damn hard today. It's so easy and just too comfortable for me in my little bubble in my corner of the world. Reality sucks and dealing with people sucks even more.

The tradition in this little town is the Saturday after Thanksgiving the veterans from the VFW (usually after they're all liquored up) and anyone else who wants to volunteer decorate the square in town. There's a small parade and then they light the park for the holiday season. I didn't attend the parade but last night A and I went up town to see what they've done. This year they added speakers throughout the park and have the Nutcracker Suite playing. What's really great is last night it was windy and we witnessed several people passing by who stopped to set something up that had blown over or re-adjust decorations. I have yet to ever see anyone vandalize or steal anything. Please excuse any blurry pictures. I was trying to take them hand-held while getting hit with a blustery north wind.

I guess maybe this Grinch is starting to get in the holiday mood just a bit earlier than usual...but don't push me too much. I'm still not ready for 24/7 Christmas music.

I'm a product whore.

2010-11-28T22:06:00.000-06:00

Seriously, I have discovered where all my cash went! In my shower right now there are currently 5 bottles of shampoo, 3 conditioners, 4 body washes, 2 facial washes plus 3 bars of soap. That's not counting a couple bottles of dog shampoo & conditioner that I'm sure A has grabbed and used a few times. :) I must admit there's even more in the hall closet. How many products do two women really need anyway?

When I picked up my bathroom a few days ago, I'm was amazed by all the eye shadows, makeup, eyeliners, mascara, lipstick, glosses and powders. There are hair waxes, pomades, putty, smoothers, shiners and sprays. I have a zillion varieties of toothpaste, floss and brushes (thanks to Oral-B and Crest who send me samples). Lotions, perfumes, body sprays, face creams and anti-wrinkle treatments fill every cupboard, drawer and basket. I was then inspired to clean my bathroom closet...the list goes on and on.

Next time I'm asked what I spend my money on and I'm tempted to say purses, shoes, or pets, I'll just remember the massive supply of beauty products I have stocked up. Trying to look good isn't cheap I guess!

Thanksgiving Was Here. Winter Returns Too.

2010-11-26T00:59:00.003-06:00

Thanksgiving came and went quietly. I woke up early this morning...well actually Orville woke me early by scooting up next to my pillow, licking my cheek and giving me a pleading look. I stumbled upstairs and out into the frigid morning; always the doorman. A slept in for awhile since she has to be up early tomorrow for work. Later we ate breakfast and just did some household chores; very un-exciting, very un-holiday like. In fact with nothing cooking or baking in the house it didn't seem much like Thanksgiving at all. I tried several times to call Dad but was unable to reach him. I left a couple messages instead. My older brother is there visiting and I know they were taking Dad out of the rehab facility for dinner today.

Don't worry we didn't go without our turkey dinner and this afternoon went to the home of A's aunt and uncle and had a lovely time hanging out with the retirees. We were invited to her brother's home but we both didn't want to deal with their screaming, obnoxious, rude children and some equally rude adults. That could be an entire post in itself.

Tomorrow morning I will be up early but NOT to participate in Black Friday shopping madness. NO WAY! I know so many people who look forward all year to this one shopping day but to me it looks and feels like a nightmare. Instead I will haul myself up to put the beef brisket in the oven, start preparing egg noodles and baking bread. That's right, I'm the one cooking tomorrow; alert the fire department. No really I can cook but so seldom do because I don't enjoy it except for the rare special occasions. Mom is coming for a belated Thanksgiving dinner and dragging along her pet, aka well-meaning but annoying boyfriend. They usually don't hang around too long though.

The weather has turned here suddenly and we went from unseasonably warm 60's and sunny to unseasonably cold 2 degrees. Our last nice weekend it was nearly 70 degrees, the collie came to visit, we played ball with the dogs and they chased each other in the yard. There was still some green in our world.

One week later we woke on a Saturday morning to 10 inches of snow. We had to get up and pull out the shovels to clear the deck, stairs and patio just so the dogs could go outside.

Since then it has been nothing but cold, overcast, freezing rain, sleet and snow. I don't give a damn about the snow but I truly hate the ice and I still need the sunshine. I like to sit in front of the window and soak it in, even if it's all an illusion. This weather means lots of indoor time and I end up curling up on the couch with a book or movie plus several dogs to keep me company. Since bringing in dog #8, the dynamics of the pack have changed and my Sia wants to make sure everyone know I belong to her at nap time. There are also 3 others laying by my feet.

Actually Cassie (dog #8) has been one of the more challenging fosters I've had in a long time. She is a sweetie with people but has problems with other dogs. She is food-aggressive, territorial, and possessive. She doesn't give the warning growl--she goes straight in for the attack. After the first few days she was here, I was ready to send her back! In 5 days I had broken up more dog fights than in the last 4 years I've had Chins. I thought she was going to have to permanently live in a kennel. It's just unusual for this breed to not get along. I was especially pissed when my dogs started acting fearful of her. I will not tolerate my dogs feeling uncomfortable or fearful in their own home. Her former foster offered to take her back, our foster coordinator was looking for another foster home where she could be the only dog (yeah right!) but after I had time to sleep on it (that's when I do my best problem-solving), A and I agreed that we've had worse and would not give up so easily. We came up with a plan to anticipate/remove her triggers and do some training to modify her behavior and help her gain confidence. She's been here 2.5 weeks and is coming along great. She seems to especially love her new best friend Jill.

Last night I had the rare treat of catching a group shot of the whole crew, minus Gizzy who has bad balance and is afraid of falling down the stairs. So here is a picture of 7 out of 8...and they are all looking at the camera for once. A very rare picture indeed.

Left to right: Popper, Jill, Cassie, Orville, Nifty, Sia
Front: Timmy

Hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-11-16T22:37:00.000-06:00

Ms. Moon: Saint? Unlikely. Crazy? Yeah Probably

2010-11-09T23:15:00.001-06:00

Today I brought home dog number eight. I now have my own four plus four fosters. This will be my 6th foster dog of 2010; in the past I've only had 1 or 2 fosters a year. I know this is peanuts compared to what so many others in rescue do and I suppose one day I'll look back and laugh about the time when we only had eight. I think I'm slipping down the rabbit-hole. Pictures to follow.

She's got her mother's fiery disposition.

2010-11-08T08:20:00.000-06:00

I woke up Sunday morning with freakish swollen eyelids. I mean really, really swollen like I've seen with severe heart failure patients. I tried everything to get the swelling down but the only real solution is time. At least I had no where to go and no one to see, no one that mattered anyway. The plus side is I also woke up feeling much better just as I expected and it was a beautiful, gloriously sunny and warm day here in Minnesota, especially for this time of year. When you get 65 degrees in November you take it as a blessing and soak up every second.

We had all the major outdoor chores completed already so I lazed in our sunroom with all the windows wide open as I sorted through the massive amount of paperwork I brought home from Dad's apartment when we moved him out. OMG he saved every receipt for every loaf of bread and little scraps of paper with phone numbers of who knows who, paid utility bills from the last several years and even old cell phone bills from the carrier he had 4+ years ago. I managed to sort through, organize and condense many boxes into one rubbermaid tub for easier transport. My older brother is leaving next week to go visit Dad and the rest of his family and is taking Dad's belongings down to him. I'm thankful to have the stuff out of my house.

We had a visitor to the backyard yesterday. Sia let out her telltale screaming bark from the deck to announce their arrival. Meet Bliss the Collie who lives over on the next street. She comes to visit on occasion when her family isn't home. I think she just gets lonely.

As you can tell she is very sweet and timid. It still scared the shit out of me the first time I found her and my girl nose-to-nose at the fence.

Today Sia and Timmy led the charge and Bliss just looked confused and whined as they lunged and barked.

She paced the fence line as my crew chased her and barked on the other side.

There was enough ruckus that the old man Giz actually got up off the couch and came outside to see what was happening. He usually only moves for dinner and bedtime and hardly ever holds that tail up anymore.

Sia finally succeeded in chasing Bliss off and watched as she returned to her own home. Really her family pulled into their driveway and Bliss went running happy to see them. We won't tell Sia though since she thinks she's pretty tough. The lazy boys all filed back into the house to resume afternoon nap time. Not my fiery 12 pound girl with only 3 teeth in her head.

For the rest of the afternoon Sia parked herself at the gate waiting for Bliss to dare return to our yard. A just shakes her head like always and tells me , "She's your girl!"

The Sun Will Come Up Tomorrow

2010-11-07T01:31:00.003-05:00

Only it will be an hour earlier. I guarantee I will not be up to see it on a Sunday morning. I will be snuggled and warm in my bed with fresh clean sheets and fresh clean dogs to match. I don't know how fresh and clean A will be. :) I've watched a few lovely sunrises the last few weeks as I drove to work but I'm really more of a sunset person. Friday night we had such a beautiful evening; there was no wind and the lakes were as smooth as glass. It makes for some beautiful scenery when I take the time to enjoy. I didn't have my camera with me but I took this picture about 5 miles from my home one other night when the sky looked very similar.

I can't believe Halloween came and went. A and I were just not in the mood this year. The Saturday night before we went to hang out with our friend, Faye, while her boyfriend JK (the Elvis impersonator) performed. She got a costume the week before but just wasn't feeling it at all that night either. The three of us sat toward the back, ate pizza, people watched and gossiped. JK has his groupies and some are there so often they have become part of the act. I'm always flabbergasted by the number of drunks who yell at a man dressed as Elvis to "sing some Johnny Cash!" It never fails and JK has actually worked it into his act and will sing a song if it's requested. That night some drunk guy dressed as a sheik took it a step further by thinking it was karaoke. He stumbled and muttered the lyrics for the first half of the song and Elvis actually had to catch him before he took out a speaker.

Halloween evening we had beautiful weather. Most of the time it's very cold and the kids have to be bundled up over their costumes. One year it was so frigid and blowing sleet so parents were driving their kids door-to-door. We had our light on, pumpkin carved and lit and a huge bowl of candy. We popped Jiffy Pop and watched scary movies. We waited for hours and only had 5 trick-or-treaters (3 of them live on my street)! I live in town but I'm on a dead end street and I think the kids just don't come over this way. I could stand on my front porch and hear the kids on the other side of the park. Anyway that means I had a huge bowl of candy left that I promptly threw in the freezer. A only carved one pumpkin this year but she said I was her inspiration.

Halloween I decided to extend the olive branch to my younger brother after our bitchy late night conversation 2.5 weeks prior. He didn't answer and didn't return my call. Later that night I thought I would check my sister-in-law's Facebook to see if she posted pictures of my nephews in their costumes. That's when I found I had been blocked by her.

Really?!!!! It really wasn't that big of a disagreement. I just told him I was tired of the bitching and he should help mom after all the help she's given him. I had not written one thing about the situation on FB either. There's the part of me that thinks "it's only FB" and it's infantile behavior but there's that other part of me that can't help but feel hurt. I don't regret what I said and if I had the chance to do it again, I would say it exactly the same. I only spoke the truth. Tonight I realized I have now been de-friended by my bother, his wife and my oldest nephew. It's only FB, right? I admit I cried. It hurts. They've done a lot of stupid things, have had a rocky marriage both personally and financially and I have stood by through a lot of shit and only spoke up once when the kids were getting affected by their parents' behavior. So now I'm cut off for daring to say one thing against them.

So tonight I'll cry and feel the hurt. I'll mourn the fact that during the last year my family has disintegrated and morphed into people I hardly recognize. I'll think about the last time I saw my nephews in the hospital in Ohio when they came to see Dad after his stroke. I'll remember how my 10 year old nephew cuddled up next to me at the hotel and we cried together. He's so smart and sensitive...way too mature for his age and worries all the time about his parents and the things he has no control over. I have always seen a whole lot of myself in that boy. I'll hate how they use their children as emotional blackmail. I'll want to get in the car, drive 5.5 hours and confront them. Instead I will cry it out, go to bed, curl up next to A and whisper how much I love her, hug my fur-kids (and fosters too) and think of the wonderful friends in my life who have become my real family. The sun will come up tomorrow; I'll feel better after getting it out tonight and I'll never let them see how much it hurts.

Phone Anxiety

2010-11-04T00:23:00.000-05:00

My phone has become a source if anxiety for me. There was once a time I rushed to answer but now I feel my skin crawl when I hear that ringtone. I just never know what's waiting on the other end of that line these days. Even the callers who used to be considered "safe" (with the exception of A) are full of drama and stress. Today I actually refused to listen to a voicemail from one person because I just knew it was going to be some drama and I didn't want it affecting my mood. I came home and had A listen to it instead. Her instructions were to delete it if it was going to piss me off and never tell me what was said.

So tonight when my phone rang, I cringed. I slowly got up and looked at the screen to see "Withheld". That usually means my Dad's cell phone and since his stroke he has not been able to use it without help. Most of the time when something has happened my aunt or uncle have called me from his phone. It's 11:30 PM on a weekday night. My mind immediately starts racing...what has happened...another stroke...a fall...blood clot...heart failure...?????. I answer and it's Dad and he sounds great. This was the first time I've talked to him in over 2 months that he's sounded like himself; not some mumbling zombie parroting what I was saying or not responding appropriately to questions. We had a real conversation. I was surprised how much this uplifted my spirits. This has to be one of the best calls I've received in a VERY long time!

Another Anniversary of Sorts: Cohabitation

2010-10-30T02:15:00.005-05:00

I made you wait over 2 years before moving in together. You were ready within a few months. Looking back, I think we're both glad I won out on this one.

Today is the anniversary of our closing on this house. You moved from your apartment, I moved from mine and we merged here. We slept here that first night together. We just threw the mattress on the floor too exhausted to assemble the bed. We've rarely spent a night apart since. This house is not large or elaborate but it is filled with good things like love, laughter and friendship and most importantly, it is home. This is the first place I've truly felt was home since childhood and I know you feel the same.

I remember how concerned you were trying to make sure my things had a place here too. You told me multiple times to hang up my pictures, put my books on the shelves, add my furniture in the mix. You were so sweet and concerned that I had doubts. Really, after 2 years? You would have thought I would have it figured out by then.

We've survived multiple home improvements and even an addition. When we moved in we thought we would wait awhile to paint. The walls looked okay but when we took down that horrible border (remember that terrible one with deer in the crosshairs) that surrounded the entire living, dining room and kitchen the cigarette smoke on the walls was disgusting. You let me pick out paint and tolerated swatches hanging on walls for weeks while I decided on one of the shades you thought all looked the same. The one thing we didn't wait for was taking down those horrendous metallic green/black lace valences that were left hanging or cleaning the buckshot out of the kitchen drawers. The previous owners were "outdoorsy" folk I guess. There was the week we both took vacation and re-finished all the kitchen cabinets and replaced the counter. Our kitchen sink sat in the dining room for 2 weeks. Another "vacation" we spent a week removing and replacing all the flooring in the living/dining/kitchen AND gutted 2 bathrooms. That's when we learned that basic plumbing is fine but we should not be involved in soldering of copper pipes. We were both frustrated and snappy and I had to leave before I hit you in the head with a wrench. I didn't appreciate your tone of voice when you spoke to me. I'm still amazed that week didn't lead to divorce. We've hauled a ton of paving stones and sand. Your back went out because you were too impatient to wait for me to help. We put in that privacy fence and wrestled with that earth auger that required both of us to handle. The older neighbors gathered to watch "those gals" put up a fence. They watched as that auger got away on us; I thought my arm was broken and the frame of your glasses snapped. Damn fence is still standing though.

Our home has evolved just like us and all those happenings are trivial when we consider all the wonderful things we've gained by moving into this home together. Nothing compares to waking up beside you everyday, sharing popcorn on the couch at night, Saturday morning breakfast on the patio, Sunday mornings sleeping in and cuddling. It's comforting to know that no matter where I go in this world and no matter what happens throughout my day, I have this home with you to return to and that makes everything in my life okay again. I'm thankful we've made this our home together. I know how lucky and truly blessed I am to have found you. Welcome home babe.

There's a Mouse in the House

2010-10-26T00:08:00.002-05:00

This little puff of fur has A all wound up. I'm not fond of having our little houseguest but it's just one tiny mouse. A's been wandering around the house telling the cats to get down there, catch it and earn their keep. She's threatening not to feed them until they produce a corpse. Then she coaches the dogs with toy mice and reminds them that they can kill vermin too. In my opinion, I think our oldest cat Stink may be responsible. She has a history of catching critters and bringing them in to show us. The only problem is that she doesn't kill them first and then they get loose in the house and we are the one's to have to make the catch. I've captured several mice, a gopher, and a couple birds too. Ah, that old half-bald cat sure does cause trouble.

Sunday A was in our bedroom making the bed and I was folding laundry down the hall when she let out a scream (She strongly maintains that she does not scream, she let out a great bellow). I dropped what I was doing and went running in to see her jumping between the floor and bed. In the corner sat a quivering little brown mouse, the size of a jumbo cotton ball. I'm not sure which one of them was more scared but A definitely made the biggest show of it. I know if I were not around she would have taken a broom to the little thing. With me no De Con is allowed (toxic to the dog/cats) and I hate those terrible snap or glue traps. She used one of those snap traps years ago and I've never let her live it down. So Monday night I set the little live-trap cube and hopefully I'll catch the little bugger before the cat does.

Finally, thank you to everyone for your kind supportive comments to my last angry post. My family is something that has the ability to suck me into the chaos if I allow it. For the most part, I'm able to stay clear but last week the planets must have aligned or something since I got a massive dose from all of them at once. Uggh! That post was a great vent and when I woke up Thursday morning I felt good again. And another thing...I didn't feel guilty at all and still don't!

Now I remember why I don't call...

2010-10-20T23:57:00.005-05:00

...or answer your calls or even listen to the whole message you left on my voicemail.

Several weeks ago I just felt like everything was imploding. I was dealing with dad, mom, brothers, dad's siblings, hospitals, doctors, social workers, insurance companies, and that list goes on and on and on. That of course is on top of MY everyday normal life, relationship and work. For months my phone rang non-stop, taking calls, dealing with issues. It is always" I need help with.." or "You've gotta take care of...".

I don't mind helping but when the bitching and back-stabbing starts, I'm finished. It turned into dad calling from Ohio over and over to tell me to take care of some things that I had no power to handle. Then when I suggested he legally designate someone as power of attorney (a suggestion my older brother was on board with) dad gets crazy paranoid and starts accusing me of trying to get power to put him in a nursing home. When the shit hit the fan, guess which brother backed out; it wasn't HIS idea. Fucking asshole!! I threw up my hands and told them all if they could do it so well, then go for it.

I went to the hills with my love and my family. I surrounded myself with things that make me happy. I re-focused on enjoying my life. I stopped calling and stopped accepting a lot of calls. I had some peace and quiet.

So why the fucking hell did I return that phone call to my mom tonight? Her message sounded okay but by the time I called the sobbing and self-pity had started. There's just so much anger in her and she just keeps holding onto it. I can hear her starting to spiral down again. There comes a point when you can't help those who don't help themselves. Then I have my older brother bitching about dad's will and how unfair it is. I explained that I agreed to execute his will as he wanted it and I have no power over anything. Plus, get this asshole, DAD'S NOT DEAD!!! Greedy fucker! The final phone call was from my younger brother. Usually these are pretty safe but I should have known better tonight. He started bitching (again) about the small bill he has paid for my mom the last 4 months. Well, as you can imagine I was not in the mood and told him how I felt. Over the last 10+ years mom (primarily) and dad have given them so much money, paid utility bills and rent, bought clothing and food all because of the grandkids. I told him I was sick of hearing him complain about it after all the money mom has given to him and his family through the years. There were crickets on the line and before I lost control I said good-bye and hung up.

Even with all the bullshit, tomorrow when the anger dies down I will feel guilty; guilty for not calling, not accepting calls and guilty for not doing more. This girl can't fucking win!!!

All Tucked Away

2010-10-19T23:15:00.000-05:00

This past weekend we put the RV away for the winter. "Nipples to the Wind" (that's her official name) was tucked away in our friend's storage barn. A winterized it and covered every surface with dryer sheets to keep the mice away. Who knew mice didn't like the smell of Bounce. We were skeptical but other RVer's we know swear by it and anything is better that mothballs...YUCK! Our friend, the Elvis impersonator, gave us one hell of a deal for storage...2 cases of Michelob Golden light. A wrinkled her nose at the idea of Michelob (she's a home-brewer and beer snob) but said that was too good of a deal to pass up and Michelob is so cheap that she will throw in a couple more cases through the winter. It won't come out until at least March and then it goes for a new of shoes. Seems the tire size we need is discontinued so Winnebago suggested a full change over. These things always involve maintenance.

A hanging with her pride and joy.

It's strange to turn the corner onto my street and not see it parked in the driveway. Actually it's funny just to see the front of the house again. It makes the needed retaining wall repair and over-grown flower bed really visible. Guess I know what I'll be working on this weekend.

This past Saturday I drove nearly 600 miles to deliver a little chin dog to his new adoptive mom. He was a great guy and barely moved most of the trip. He only raised his head once to look at me when I stopped for gas. It was such a long trip that A stayed home. I really don't mind the time all to myself and it was such beautiful weather that I would have felt bad if my crew at home would have spent the whole day indoors.

Ping

When driving across southern Minnesota there isn't much to see at all; just cornfields and wind turbines for miles. Gives a girl lots of time to just think.

I was supposed to only drive a few miles across the Wisconsin border to meet Ping's new family but about an hour outside of La Crosse, WI, I received a call they had car trouble and were at a truck stop. It was only an extra 40 miles so I went to meet them as they waited for help to come. No a big deal but I REALLY hate driving in Wisconsin. See I have a little affliction known as "lead-foot". It serves me well here in MN but when I cross that border to WI, the state hwy patrol are just gunning for my MN license plates. Plus Wisconsin has those ridiculously low speed limits--my car just doesn't want to go that slow. I made it in and out of the state without getting busted but on the way home I floored it as soon as I hit the bridge crossing the Mississippi from WI to MN. It's all about making good time.