Jill-e-bean: Before and After

What a difference six months makes.

Sept 2010

March 2011

She doesn't even look like the same dog.

Photo by Michael Yamashita

I just love this photograph. I came across it a few days ago and something about it looks so familiar; like I've been there before or A and I have walked that path somewhere along the way. Or maybe it's just the color or the incredible need I have to get outside and go hiking. I don't know but I enjoy it anyway.

So I guess it's Ash Wednesday. I didn't even realize it until my boss said something this afternoon. I don't participate in such things and really don't care to start now. I don't have ashes smeared on my forehead or give up meat or sacrifice something for Lent. He started by asking me if I had plans this evening and after I said I had nothing special planned he asked the question "Do you ever take part in the Ash Wednesday services?" Of course he knows my answer; we've had these conversations before. I've had multiple invitations to come to his church. I always politely decline. But you can almost read the thought of "godless heathen" on his face. Ugh!

All I know is that during my childhood, mom dragged us all from one church to another; almost every possible Christian denomination. The locations may have been different but the people were all the same. She was always looking for something; maybe an answer to her problems or depression or maybe just peace. She lived with the belief that life was hard because it was all a test of faith and the more you endured on earth the greater the reward in heaven. Whatever! Even now she still searches and obviously she still hasn't found what she's searching for in any church or Bible. I guess these days she's settled for searching for it in the bottle of brandy.

But what do I know...I'm just a kid in the grand scheme of things but until you can supply me with some proof, I'm not changing my mind.

Embarrassed Much?

A and I text each other often during our work day. It's the usual "how's your day?" or "what do you want for dinner?" and often "I love you" and "miss you." Sometimes when the mood strikes those texts can be a little more racy too. It's kind of like all day foreplay.

Monday morning I received a panicky call from A. She had written a colorful and rather naughty text for me. She hit send and then was horrified when is was sending to her ex, Mimi. She started pushing the end button over and over but it was too late...it was already up in the air. She quickly sent a second message to apologize and explain that was meant for me. Mimi responded with a huge smile and the comment that she enjoyed the sentiment.

I told A it probably made her year since she was just bemoaning the fact her wife isn't very romantic.

I think it will be years before A lives down the shame of this one.

The Seven Year Itch?

I've been thinking about it a lot these days; dreaming, scheming, planning for a way to make it work.

I find myself wondering what would I do, where would I go, what it would be like.

I've always had a short attention span. I need variety, change, challenge, something to hold my interest.

But there's always so much stress in making these types of changes.

A tells me to not be impulsive...it's just a phase. Maybe we just need to get away for a while; a vacation, a different point of view. I need to find the spark again.

No, I'm not talking about my relationship thankfully. I often tell A she is certainly something special to have kept this gemini intersted after all these years (no small feat I must admit). But I am thinking about my career. I'm feeling very blah and negative about my job recently. I really hate that negativity too. I hate feeling it and thinking it. It affects me physically with tension in my neck and back, headaches. I find myself not speaking much because I have nothing good to say. 

My mom would say "shit or get off the pot".  Hmmm...now the big question is, what do I want to do next?

Dreaming Big

Happy Valentine's day to all of you celebrating and happy Monday to those who are not. We don't usually do the flowers/candy/dinner thing and would rather spend our time together doing something we both enjoy. This year part of our celebration consisted of spending Saturday at the Minneapolis RV show.

I lost count of all the campers and motorhomes we toured. All I know is that we should have never started with the big Class A motorcoaches. After looking at those, the smaller Class C's are very disappointing. A has come to the decision that when it's time to upgrade, we're going with the big rig. She was especially interested in this one.

We would buy used of course since most of these new cost more than our house! The thing is I can just see A behind the wheel...and if you ever see me behind the wheel you better get outta my way!

When we arrived at the show it was early and still kind of quiet but as the afternoon progressed it became busier and people...well people just became more of their disgusting selves. Who walks into an RV and farts? The stench of BO was so overwhelming in a few areas that we had to leave. Seriously people, soap, water and deodorant are cheap...use some!

This past week we booked our first big RV trip for the summer and we're heading east. Off to visit family and friends. We rented a car so we can take off on a couple day trips but we're not really sure where we are heading yet. Maybe east? Maybe south? Who knows but that's the fun part. I'm sure we'll find something to get into.

I sent A an email card this morning. I always wondered what I would look like as a blonde.
http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/zKSf9asYGNjDSlIblaOW

What Would You Do?

If you woke up on a beautiful Saturday morning to find this in your yard.

A pair of men's army green boxer briefs with a distinctive shit stain in the rear.

That's right baby, return to sender.

I can't wait for summer. *sigh*

Needs

Tonight A was downstairs working out. I went down to find her just finishing up.

Me: Babe, I have a need.

A Really?! *big smile and puffing up* Well I'm sweaty but give me a few minutes and I'll meet you in bed.

Me: *sigh* Noooo, I mean I NEED some cake or brownies...maybe some cookies.

A: *looking very disappointed*

Me: I've been combing the cupboards and we don't even have anything to bake. Would you go to the store and get something?

A: *smiling and shaking her head* Of course...what do you want?

So she got dressed and braved the extremely cold temperatures just to go pick up something sweet for me from the store. The really sad thing...even after all that niceness, I still didn't give her what she really wanted.  I'm bad, bad, BAD....and very spoiled. What can I say except that some needs sometimes overpower others.