My phone has become a source if anxiety for me. There was once a time I rushed to answer but now I feel my skin crawl when I hear that ringtone. I just never know what's waiting on the other end of that line these days. Even the callers who used to be considered "safe" (with the exception of A) are full of drama and stress. Today I actually refused to listen to a voicemail from one person because I just knew it was going to be some drama and I didn't want it affecting my mood. I came home and had A listen to it instead. Her instructions were to delete it if it was going to piss me off and never tell me what was said.
So tonight when my phone rang, I cringed. I slowly got up and looked at the screen to see "Withheld". That usually means my Dad's cell phone and since his stroke he has not been able to use it without help. Most of the time when something has happened my aunt or uncle have called me from his phone. It's 11:30 PM on a weekday night. My mind immediately starts racing...what has happened...another stroke...a fall...blood clot...heart failure...?????. I answer and it's Dad and he sounds great. This was the first time I've talked to him in over 2 months that he's sounded like himself; not some mumbling zombie parroting what I was saying or not responding appropriately to questions. We had a real conversation. I was surprised how much this uplifted my spirits. This has to be one of the best calls I've received in a VERY long time!