I'm Making a Change

Tonight I started my conversation with A by asking her a simple question. "How would you feel about being more open and affectionate in public?" She just looked at me a little suspiciously and asked what did I mean.

A few weeks ago Jude wrote a lovely post about her promise to do more hand holding with her wife. Then Rocket wrote a post about a memory from her youth when she observed prejudice against an interracial couple who dared to hold hands in pubic. It made me think about how much of a difference it could make if all gay/lesbian couples in this country started to just hold hands while out in public. I think it would be an eye-opener to a lot of heterosexuals to see just how many of us there are.

Our family and friends all know that we are together. We don't hide our relationship but have really strived to remain "low-key". A and I are from different generations and unfortuately she has felt pressured though the years to try to live her life below the radar. She has talked about being harassed outside the gay bars and having people drive by and throw things at her and her friends. During her last relationship, her gf wasn't out; she was a teacher and always pressured A to stay in the closet. It's a hard "habit" to break. I have to admit that just a few years ago I too felt the need to keep our relationship private.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I want the right to marry the person I choose then I should not feel I have to hide anything. I should be living my life openly and proudly. I should not hide this wonderful love we have for each other.  I'm making a promise to myself to be more open. I'm going to hold the hand of the woman I love when I feel like it and if that's in Target, the grocery store or the mall then that's what I'll do. I'm sure it will be awkward at first for both of us, but I believe our time has come. Wish us luck!