Thursday, December 31, 2009

So Much For Happy New Year

Right now I'm supposed to be finishing a fabulous dinner of Japanese food and then heading off to meet up with friends to ring in 2010. So why am I sitting here blogging? My sweetheart has the flu; headache, cough, sore throat, chills, fever-yeah, definitely the flu. She had to go to work for a few hours this morning and called to say her throat was sore and she had a terrible headache. She insisted we were still going to dinner at least. I knew better and cancelled our reservation. By the time she walked in the door she had the chills so bad I immediately put her in bed under the heating blanket.

  • warm tea
  • kleenex
  • throat drops
  • ibuprofen
  • one old dog for comfort and cuddling
I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. I wanted a stomach bug, not the flu.
It's cold but clear here in Minnesota tonight. At least I have a terrific view of the blue moon and can enjoy the Three Stooges marathon on AMC. I also have a bottle of champange so the dogs and I can toast at midnight.
Happy New Year to everyone!

Finally Meme

I was tagged by Ang over at "Grace Needs Freedom" to do this photo meme weeks ago. I decided I had to complete this mission before 2010 rolls in- I can't carry this anchor into the new year.

1. Copy and paste meme from the person who tagged you.
2. Run a Google images search on your answer to the question.
3. Choose a relevant image that suits your taste and needs.
4. Add a description.
5. Tag four innocent bystanders to pass the damn thing on to and leave a comment on their blog so they know what's up.
6. Have fun!

1. The place where I was born:

My mother always refers to my birthday as the day I hatched. So there you have it!

2. The place I grew up:

I was hatched and raised in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains.

3. The place I live now:

The flat frozen tundra they call Minnesota. Here they park their ass in the middle of a frozen lake four months out of the year.

4. My high school mascot:

The Hillbillies---not really but it should have been.

5. The university I attended:

Minnesota State University.

6. My favorite wild animal:

Since I can't choose my sweetheart, I will choose any of the big wild cats.

7. Favorite vacation spot:
Key West, Florida and the entire lower keys. When we plan a vacation we keep finding ourselves drawn back. It's really gay friendly and open there.

And our favorite beach at Bahia Honda State Park in located just a short drive away.

8. My favoite sport:

Is skydiving a sport?  I have jumped a few times and would love to do it more. Life just keeps getting in the way. I don't watch or enjoy any professional sports.                                                     

9. My favorite movie:

It is hard to pick one movie but I chose John Carpenter's 1978 original Halloween.

10. My age:

11. My hobby:
My work with rescue takes up a lot of my spare time and doesn't leave much for hobbies.
But I do love to read and collecting books (especially old ones).

12. My favorite color:

13. My favorite song:
Now this was an extremely hard one. What music I want to listen to varies daily and sometimes hourly depending on my mood. I chose one song I noticed I ususally never skip over when it comes across my Ipod.
"Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult

14. My favorite book:
This is one I find myself returning to over and over.

15. My favorite clothing brand:
"I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful" - Bill Murray in "What About Bob?"
I don't pay much attention to labels. I buy whatever I feel comfortable wearing and makes me feel good.

16. My job/career:
I do the job everyone loves to hate. I'm told on a daily basis how much I'm hated

17. My favorite TV show:
I LOVE Seinfeld and will watch it over and over and laugh everytime.

18. My addiction:
I think A is planning to stage an intervention. Watch for my episode on the A&E series.

19. My weakness:
These cute little faces.

20. My favorite food:
Most people would probably list chocolate or some other tasty snack but I have a weakness for breads, rolls and biscuits. I especially love them fresh from the bakery and slathered with butter (the real stuff). I'm such a carb whore!

So now I have completed my meme and since I hate rules and will break as many as I feel like, I say fuck it and I'm not tagging any other poor souls to carry this on. Pick it up at your own discretion because it took FOREVER to complete it!!

Monday, December 28, 2009

For Sarcastic Bastard

Sunday, December 27, 2009

I Wish Santa Would Have Left A Bottle of Pepto Bismol in My Stocking

I feel disgusting, gross, bloated and generally foul! I'm going to have to fast and detox before I can feel like myself again; too much food, too many sweets and too much alcohol. I'm thankful the season for over-indulgence is over. I'm pulling my fat jeans out and looking at the calendar-30 days until I need to be in a swimsuit. I'm still holding out the hope I may contract a good stomach virus.

A and I hosted 2 Christmas dinners this year. Our original plan was to make a small dinner on Christmas Eve and go spend the evening with her dad then Christmas day here with my family. Of course the midwest was nailed with a massive snowstorm and here in Minnesota we were not spared. Dinner with her dad was rescheduled for Sunday. Christmas day my family's dinner went off without a hitch. Whew! Today we had our dinner with A's dad. Our small dinner for 3 or 4 mutated into dinner for 12 which left A and I scrambling a bit at the last minute to make sure we had enough food for everyone. I will admit I was a bit annoyed by the fact that some people invited themselves and didn't offer to help but just kept chanting, "It's the holiday and I will be generous to my GF's family."  It doesn't help that there has been underlying tension between some members of her family and I since the beginning. Those stories are best saved for another post.

A and I set a new record and lasted until December 23rd before we opened gifts. I have to make a confession: this is our 11th Christmas together and we have NEVER made it until the actual holiday. One year we actually opened our gifts on December 19th. Our rationale-we were flying out for vacation on December 26th and we needed time to play with our "toys". Another year we opened gifts before we were finished shopping. The next day we went shopping again, came home, wrapped gifts and immediately exchanged and opened them. Santa was good to me this year and in addition to my computer desk, I received books, movies, clothes and new PJs.

We spent our holiday shovelling and snowblowing. Thankfully the temperatures were pleasant and we could be out working and playing in the snow. I actually don't mind these days when it's the just the two of us with the dogs. The snow is higher than the dogs so there are paths that need to be dug in the backyard so they have an area to relieve themselves. A is such a good mama and actaully digs out mazes for them with little "rest areas" along the way. We had such a blast running the maze and having them chase us. This photo is what happens when you are standing on the deck taking pictures of your gf working and the snow blows off the roof into your face. That's what I get for not being helpful!

Part of the maze in our yard.

A and Timmy out for a run.

Our foster dog on the run in the snow.

Sia tries to help A make snow angels.

Our little girl, Sia, had snowballs in her fur but had an incredibly good time.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas From Our Family to Yours

(L to R) Orville, Gizzy, Sia, Popper and Timmy

Monday, December 21, 2009

For Jude

Save your voice-hand these out instead. :)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

A Wonderful Day

A and I gave up another Saturday morning sleeping in to head out on the road to help with a dog transport. It was time for me to come out of my hiatus and get back in the saddle. I had backed out of rescue since my father's cancer diagnosis but have missed it, the dogs and the wonderful and somewhat quirky people I work with. We were transporting four dogs from Sioux Falls, South Dakota with new homes waiting in Minnesota, Wisconsin and Illinois.

It is the most fun, rewarding experience to bring a dog to their new family. The adopters are so incredibly excited to finally meet the newest family member and it is such a joyful, up-lifting sight. I've met the most kind wonderful people. I've had complete strangers hug me with joy and a couple try to stuff a tip in my pocket. I always decline tips and my only request is to get a picture of the dog with their new family. I have a photo of every family I transported a dog to. I actually have pictures of every dog I have transported and everydog who stopped over at my home. Everyone of them is special to me, even if they only spent a few hours in the car or at the house with me. As far as tips, I encourage them to donate to the rescue. I always remember that someone transported my dogs many miles so I could bring them home. It's one small thing I can do to return the favor.

The adoptive family fron Minnesota drove to meet the rescuer from SD and pick up the newest member of their family. Then A and I took the other three with us. One little lady was so sweet  and calm we brought her in front with us. Her name is Delilah and first she rode on A's lap, then she rode on mine. She finally settled on A's coat between the front seats. Then we had the cute boys, Angus and Jimmy riding in the backseat. The two cuties just spooned and slept. They were all great riders. Once we crossed the Wisconsin border, we stopped so everyone could take a potty break.

This is Delilah riding between us.

Me and Jimmy

Me and Angus
We then headed on to meet the next rescuer near LaCrosse, WI. She was headed back to Madison, WI where two dogs would meet their adopters and another rescuer would pick up the third dog to deliver to its new home in Illinois. It is bittersweet to once again hand these sweet little bundles over to someone else, but I am satisfied tonight knowing they are sleeping in their forever homes. We drove over 400 miles today but got the most amazing puppy kisses and got to spend some much needed quality time together. When I got home there was a bonus too. While were were running across the southern part of the state, an adopter in the Twin Cities went to meet two dogs and decide which one they wanted to bring home. They couldn't decide so they adopted both. I think six adoptions in one day isn't too shabby!

There are such amazing people out there working; trying to make the lives of these dogs better. Some are a little unusual, some come across as bitchy or controlling but ultimately they have the animals' best interest at heart. I think some have become hardened and a bit callous from dealing with people who don't understand what they are trying to accomplish; those who expect them to just hand over a dog without checking anything out. I don't think I could deal with getting some of the hateful emails and phone calls from rejected adopters that I've heard about. I guess I enjoy the easy and fun part of rescue. My skin is just too thin!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Very Late Weekend Update

I'm old...too old to party with 24 year olds. It's taken me all this time to recover from my Saturday night. Ang tagged me to do a photo meme. I'll have to work on it this weekend. Then Sarcastic Bastard poked me; holy shit it has been a week since I posted!

Poor me, I had to work all day Friday since the ladies who regularly work had some virus that causes major puking for about 24 hours. Some people may consider it lucky to not get sick but I could really use a good stomach virus right now. A couple days home and a 10 pound weight loss. It could make up for all the junk I've been eating.

My weekend started Friday night  when A told me we had to be up early Saturday morning. She had a date planned for us. I was excited and hauled my lazy ass up at an un-godly hour for Saturday and we headed out to breakfast. I was slightly disappointed by her choice of restaurant but understood her reasons; it was quick and every place was packed.  Now here in Minnesota they have a restaurant called Old Country Buffet. I usually avoid the place because #1 the food isn't that great and #2 you have terrible gut-rot the rest of the day. The only good thing about going is it provides excellent people watching and this time it did not disappoint. I love watching people push and shove at each other to get to the omelet bar and how people stand around watching and waiting as more bacon is placed on the buffet. It really reminds me of the dogs at feeding time; watching every move the server makes and glaring out of the corner of their eye at the person standing next to them. I can almost hear the voice in their heads: "I was here first, bitch. Don't you dare try to shove in front of me!" If they growled and showed their teeth it would be perfect. Then there was the 20-something guy at the drink bar with his finger shoved up his nose to the first knuckle, the guy with scabs all over him, old people shoving food in their bags and of course the screaming children throwing tantrums and crawling on the floor.

Our next stop made me happy though. She had taken me to the flea market. It's fun to just walk around and check out all that stuff. One man's junk is another man's treasure, right? We cleaned them out of retro plastic santas. I bought A a plastic santa in his sleigh and the reindeer. She loved it and everything lit up once the bulbs were replaced. A was looking for a bulb for the 4 foot plastic santa she bought and all she could find around the house was a yellow bug light. We laughed so hard at cirrhosis of the liver santa. We have since replaced it with a regular light bulb.

After all our shopping we rushed home to get ready for the santa themed bachorlette party. At the flea market A bought one little extra to go with my outfit-a riding crop. Once I got dressed in that outfit, hair/makeup done, riding crop and in those heels, I thought A was going to attack me on the spot. If we didn't have someone waiting to give us a ride I think we would have been very late for the party. ;) I left the house in a long coat but the more I drank, the more open I became. It was a pretty average party until 35 Naughty Ms. Santas and 1 Naughty Elf  loaded the party bus to go bar hopping. The bus had a pole and the ladies made good use of it. I think some of them could have great careers if they wanted. A brought the bachlorette a special gift-an 18 inch double-headed dildo. He was quickly named "Dirty Harry" and spent the night on the dance floor and poking not only us ladies from the party but random people in the bar. If ever the bachlorette could not be found, just look for Dirty Harry waving in the air on the dance floor. At the end of the night, the guys showed up to take us ladies home. Dirty Harry ended up on the floor and had a piece of red tinsel stuck to him. The soon-to-be-groom retreived him for the bride-to-be. Unfortunately once they got home, sometime during the night (or morning) the dog got hold of Dirty Harry and chewed him up. May he R.I.P.

It is amazing how many guys approached me and wanted to be slapped with that riding crop!! At one bar I was on stage spanking the lead singer of the band and at another place I had some 21 year old kid pestering me to spank him. I finally had enough and smacked his ass so hard I imagine he had welts the next morning. I spent 5 hours dancing in heels until I could barely stand on my sore feet and we finally stumbled in the door sometime in the early morning. The next morning A had a massive hangover and I wasn't feeling the best either. I stuck to cocktails but she was mixing beer, liquor and doing shots too. I had to drag my pathetic ass out of bed agian to spend the day with my mother baking Christmas cookies.

Now I really debated if I should post any photos but I know I will be harrassed until I do. Disclamer: I do not typically dress or act this way.

My Naughty Elf-don't you love the shoes!

The Bachlorette on the pole-please note Dirty Harry.

Dirty Harry all dressed for the holiday.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Snow Day

To my extreme disappointment the inflatable decorations survived the blizzard conditions and high winds. Last night I looked out and the penguins were on their backs rollling around on the front lawn held down by 2 or 3 little stakes. The snowman looked like one of those clowns you punch and it always pops back up. I told A I just knew they were going to be gone when we got up this morning. I had convinced myself that one 50mph wind gust and they would be gone forever; found in the spring stuck in someone's tree.

This morning we pulled ourselves out of bed at 6am and found 8 inches of snow,  -20 degree windchill and those damn penguins were still there. They were even upright again. Well, it never hurts to have hope, right?

We had 3 foot snow drifts on our street so neither A or I went to work. We shoveled shitfields for the dogs and A made them paths all through the back yard. I don't know why she bothered because the little brats didn't want to go outside anyway. We just hung out, drank tea and took an afternoon nap. Not bad for a snow day. Back to reality tomorrow.

Monday, December 7, 2009

And Now Something For My Sweetie.

I can't believe I wasted all that time bitching about that idiot I used to know.

I want to put a positve spin on my day and I love this song. It makes me think of my sweetie and I can't help but smile. Damn, I'm getting soft in my old age. :)

I'm Going to Have to Change My Phone Number

I'll start from the beginning. Twelve years ago I dated this guy (Pete) for a short time. Actually, it was supposed to be convenient sex for me but whatever. Anyway, after a few weeks he tried to make it a "relationship" and started talking marriage and children. I was so outta there!! Honestly, I could not stand the idiot; we didn't have a single thing in common except great sexual chemistry. I tried to break it off and be civil-he didn't get it. I finally resorted to being rude and nasty-that just lead him to start stalking behavior. This continued on-and-off for years, even after I started dating A. It finally culminated with him drunk, cornering me in a parking lot and threatening me. He was trying to argue and wouldn't let me get in my car. I told him to call me when he was sober if he wanted to talk. He grabbed me and I punched him in the nose (see my dad's self-defense lessons paid off). He let go of me long enough I could get in my car. As I started it and tried to drive off, he jumped on the hood of my car. Honestly, I just floored it and I didn't care if I ran his stupid ass over! He rolled off the hood and fell in the parking lot; I just kept driving. After that he tried to call and apologize; I berated him and told him to fuck off and he finally backed off.

Fast forward to this summer. In July, my mom begged me and A to go to the county fair with her and my nephews. We ran into Pete there and he actually came over to talk to all of us. All I said to the man was hello; A and my mom did all the talking. Three weeks later, I pick up my phone and see I missed a call and have a new voicemail. I checked the number-it looked familiar but couldn't place it. I was just starting to check my voicemail and my phone rings again. I answer and it's Pete. Fuck me was all I could think. He was so drunk I could hardly understand a word he was saying. Basically what I could figure out was he had seen me at the fair and wanted to call and apologize. I told him it wasn't necessary but I appreciated it and then got off the phone as quickly as possible. The voicemail he had left was basically the same thing and I managed to record it off my phone onto my mp3 player. I may still upload it if possible. Boy, did A and I have a good laugh at that message!!

A week before Thanksgiving, I'm on my way home and my phone rings. I assumed it was A and answered. It was Pete again. This time he was sober and called to apologize again for his past behavior and for calling me when he was so drunk. He started talking about how he was trying to make changes in his life and really felt he needed to apologize. I accepted and told him I hope he can finally change himself and get some closure on the situation. We then had pleasant conversation, caught up on his/my family, what he's doing for work these days, etc. I wished him good luck and hung up.

This past Thursday my phone rings again and Pete is once again on the other end. This time he's been drinking and is talking like an idiot. He was talking about the past and I realized how much he had built up the relationship we had into some great love story. He then started making sexual comments and actually had the nerve to invite me to go on a weekend trip with him. I told him absolutely not and reminded him I was happily "married" to A. He then started commented on how he couldn't believe I was still with "that dyke" and mumbling some other things I'm probably glad I didn't understand. Now honestly, the vindictive bitch in me wanted to let him have it and insult a heterosexual man the one place it truly hurts-their manhood and sexual performance but the rational part of my brain won out this time. I thought if I start it he may start his stalking again so I just told him to never call me again and hung up on him. If he calls one more time, I'm changing my phone number. That really sucks too-I've had this number a long time.

One side note though. I received very little satisfaction from hanging up on him. I really miss the old days when you had the heavy phone receiver that you could slam down and the person on the other end got the loud clunk in the ear. Pushing the "end" button and the quick cut-off just doesn't do it for me.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Well my shame is great. A put up the inflatable Christmas decorations in our front yard.  Saturday we spent  the morning putting up the lights, tree and all the little decorations indoors and out. The final act was the inflatables. It was afternoon and I was still in my PJs and slippers. Our conversation went something like this:

A: Come out and help me with the snowman.
Me: What do you need help with?
A: Just come outside and help me.
Me: I don't see what you need help with. The entire damn thing fits in a shoebox. It's not heavy.
A: Just come out and help me. I need someone to tell me what I'm doing wrong.

Zing! I guess it really does have to be my way or no way. I made a new rule for this household: A is not allowed to purchase or put up any outdoor decorations (no matter the season) without my prior consent.

My santa costume arrived in the mail Saturday also. I tried it on and I really doubt I will be able to wear it in public. It's so short that I feel like my ass is hanging out. A on the other hand thinks it's the greatest ever. I could see the perverse little wheels in her head turning. She muttered something about "Fuckmesanta, fuckmesanta, fuckmesanta..."

Finally, A sent me and everyone else who hates those inflatable Christamas decorations a message. Hope you get it!!