The Ramblings of a Foggy Brain

The time just keeps creeping by me. Another Valentine's day come and gone. Really though, I have to say that I'm so spoiled that A does everything in her power to make me feel special everyday. My feelings for and dependence on her are so overpowering sometimes.

Several weeks ago she asked what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go to celebrate. My choice was to have dinner at home and I made her promise no flowers or candy. We already exchanged gifts a couple weeks ago. I had the day off from work but unfortunately A got stuck at work late so when she came home she asked; "How much is your heart set on lobster tonight? I'm too tired to cook."

No problem here...I settled for a V-day dinner of pizza and then some messing around. The lobster tails are still in the fridge. No worries though, this weekend is supposed to be nice enough that she can grill them. Mmmmmm.....

I've been in such a weird, foggy state of mind the last month. Sitting around kind of duh-looking (is they even a description?). I've hardly picked up my camera and can't seem to focus on getting anything done. I finally broke down and bought a Kindle. I didn't think I would enjoy reading on it as much as I have. That's one of the things that lead to my foggy state of mind. If I'm into a story, everything else disappears. I was thinking that I really should just copy my emails to Sarcastic Bastard here and be done with it. Those emails tell the tale of my life these days. I guess that my need to write gets satisfied there. Ah, how I love that woman!...or my "soul sister" as I affectionately refer to her.

Last week started out with an evil boss and a lost puppy I found in the middle of a deserted country road (he wasn't hurt and later reunited with his owners). Then Wednesday I got a call from my mom to tell me an ex had died. He and I dated on-and-off  for a year or so. Our personalities never did fit, we couldn't get along and basically had a "fight-or-fuck" relationship. Very unhealthy and dysfunctional and I broke it off when I came to the realization that I was only repeating the patterns of my parents and found myself morphing into a person I didn't like.

Anyway he was only 39 (just turned at the end of December) and the obituary said he died in his home. Yeah the small-town rumor mill was running full force that he had committed suicide. We had vaguely kept in contact through the years but it had been over a year since I talked to him last even though he lived only 6 miles from me.

Mom and I went to the wake Friday night and even though it's sad when someone so young passes, I was relieved to talk to his family and find out it was "natural causes". He had been diagnosed with an enlarged heart recently, had a heart attack in his home and was dead by the time the ambulance arrived. At the wake I saw a lot of people I haven't seen in years and we visited and shared memories with family and friends. The worst part was dealing with my mom who is so high drama about everything. I listened to her and tried to be patient but when we were standing in line at the funeral home and she turns and says to me in that accusing tone; "Mel, don't you feel anything?! Do you even care that he died." Ugh! That was when I had it with her! Just because I don't bawl and blubber for the whole world to see. *rolls eyes*

The whole experience did color my mood the rest of the weekend. I was discussing with A the realization at how much I compartmentalize my memories. It seems that when I'm finished with a chapter in my life, I shut those memories away and just don't think about them anymore. Most of my memories these days start when A entered my life because that's the chapter I'm in right now. Having to open the chapter from that part of my life just threw me for a loop. I don't know if I'm even describing this in any way that makes sense but I suppose it's a very unhealthy way of dealing with things. I bet it will back up on me someday and I'll end up on the shrink's couch. :)

A and I spent the whole day together Saturday in Minneapolis at the RV show. We're not in the market for buying but love to go see what's new on the market. When the time comes to upgrade I highly doubt we will be buying anything new anyway but will have a really good idea of what options/layout we want. Last year we spent the day looking in EVERY motorhome, 5th wheel, trailer and pop-up there. This year we focused.

Here's A looking pretty bad-ass behind the wheel of a big Class A motorcoach. (Actually I think this pic caught her off guard).

It satisfied the need we are both having to bring our little RV home. We have definite plans to finish painting the interior and some other minor upgrades. We already are planning trips; heading to visit my brother early June and back out to the Black Hills in South Dakota and Wyoming at the end of September.

So I guess once I got writing, I seemed to have overcome my block...who knew! We added 2 members to our ballooning family since the start of 2012. I adopted Cassie in early January and A adopted LuLu in early February.

Cassie

LuLu

Popper and Jill we will make official later this year I'm sure. That will put us at 8...the pack of eight that is such a great balance. I know, I know there are some rolling their eyes...

3.5 days in Vegas Equals 1 Week of Recovery

Seriously, this getting older crap just isn't fair! Between Vegas hangover and fighting a cold, Monday was the first day I finally started to feel like myself again. 

The Thursday morning we left I got up at 3am and A dropped me off on her way to work to catch my ride to the airport. Friday morning when I finally crawled in bed, I called her and she was up getting ready for work again. I had yet to go to sleep!

We danced and danced every night. There are no photos but the dried blisters on my feet tell a different tale. Fun, fun times! Those heels where so worth the pain. 

The one thing about Vegas is there is never a reason to be bored. You don't even have to spend a lot. There's so much to see or just find a cool bar and hang out enjoying the DJ or band. The hotel gave us free tickets to the comedy show one night. I didn't gamble even 1 penny.

Hanging out with Little Elvis on The Strip.

 Dueling pianos at NY-NY. They were great and I was crushing on the guy on the left all afternoon. 

 New York, New York skyline.

 I got to meet MJ after the Legends Show at the Harrah. Good god I look like I've been awake 24 hours in this picture. Would you believe we went dancing after this?

 Five years ago I rode the bull at Gilley's.

He was still there waiting but I left the riding up to others this time. 

 Instead I hung out on their saddle bar stools and enjoyed their awesome spicy Bloody Marys.

 The gals of Crazy Girls outside the Rivera.

Friday evening we went downtown to Fremont Street for some old Vegas fun. It's like a big street party down there every night.

 Buffet at the Golden Nugget.

 We watched the show on the screen overhead. I met this great (and oddly soft-spoken) Gene Simmons look alike. Gene and I share the same quirky phobias. I think it's possible I'm a long lost daughter.

We rode the zip-line down the length of Fremont.

And no I did not eat here before or after climbing a 65 foot tower to zip-line. I only stopped to snap a quick photo.  

There was a little girly office drama, but mostly I just tried to stay out of it and not let it color my experience. The only thing that would have made the trip better was if A had been there with me. When we landed in Minneapolis Sunday, all I could think was how happy I was to be home with her. I've said it before and I'll say it again: the best part of vacation for me is coming home.

32 Hours

Do you ever feel like your life is full-steam ahead and you're just stumbling along trying to keep up? That is the position I 'm finding myself in these days. I truly thought that by January my schedule would slow but things that were once months away are now the day after tomorrow; 32 hours until takeoff.

That's right Las Vegas baby!

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving one of my doctors sent out an IM on our inter-office message system; "At 1pm we need all employees to meet in the breakroom. We have important news and it affects everyone in the office." Holy shit! We were freaking out ALL morning! 

At 1pm we all gather with butterflies in our stomachs and dreading whatever news they have. Instead they drop the bomb on us--Las Vegas for our Christmas party! Yep, 10 gals, 2 docs and their wives for 4 days of whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. The only bummer is that A won't be there to share it with me.

Of course this news required weeks of heavy duty shopping and outfit planning. Yes, I have done several suitcase packing trials because I'm admittedly high-maintanence and didn't know if I could fit it all into a carry-on. I have a few events planned but otherwise I'm flying free for 4 days and see where I end up. There will definitely be many pictures. A has already given me strict orders to "cut loose". God I hope I don't end up on that reality show "Las Vegas Jailhouse" but if I do I will be sure to get an autograph from the petite, blonde corrections officer, Nicole Sittre'. A has a crush on her...even if she won't admit it. :)

I spent the whole day in my PJs.

What a great start to 2012.

Our original plan for January 1st was some much needed grocery shopping and running a few errands. We got up late and had brunch. A went out to pick up her newspaper from the front porch and settled in her favorite chair to read. I was mindlessly staring at the TV when she asked "Do you REALLY want to go shopping today?" I took one glance out the window at the snow flurries and listened to the howling north wind and decided I was more than happy to stay home. After all we had already traversed the icy unplowed roads last night. I almost hate to write how mild our Minnesota winter has been so far; hardly any snow and temperatures in the 40s. But New Year's eve some winter arrived to remind us and I know how dearly we are going to pay for this pleasant weather.

A decided that today was perfect to make soup and  Ms. Moon's Angel biscuits too. For the recipe, check it out HERE. As A says so poetically, "These are the best damn biscuits I've ever had!" After all her labor in the kitchen, I was more than happy to sit around in my PJs eating soup and biscuits all day. It's a carb-lovers dream.


We joined Faye and JK to ring in the new year. JK was on duty performing as Elvis. The crowd was older and not too rowdy. The good thing about hanging in a small suburban bar is the cheap drinks; 2 for 1 drinks until 10pm. I got a pretty good buzz for under $10. At one point (and to be a smart ass I'm sure) A brought over a Long Island Iced tea. One sip and my stomach remembered my trip on the Long Island expressway last January. *gag* NEVER again!

Even though it wasn't the most exciting night ever, I'm grateful that I got to spend the evening in the company of great friends and my love. At midnight I happily raised my glass of champagne and gave A a huge kiss. Welcome 2012.

On our way out, A snapped a quick picture of me with my new camera bag/purse. This one is for you Mark.

I love the fact it looks like any one of my many other purses. In fact when we arrived Faye immediately started to admire it. She appreciates a new purse as much as I do. And in case you're wondering why I'm carrying around a blue octopus, let me introduce you to Tako.

He's been traveling around the country visiting Japanese Chin households and just arrived Saturday from Canada for a short visit. In a week or so I'll add photos to his memory book and then mail him off.

December Review: It's all over except the indigestion.

I think I started my after holiday post something like this last year. If you feel like you're suffering from deja vu, you likely are because I am too. I stepped on the scale this morning and braced myself for the number. I was shocked to see I've managed to hover in the same 2-3 pound range this entire season of over-eating. Still I just feel like crap; too much sugar and junk food takes its toll.

A and I just returned home and settled in from our last family holiday celebration. It feels like it was just Thanksgiving and the past month has been nothing but a blur of activity. I'm not complaining though. It's been a good month. A and I have felt more in the spirit than many years past. Even through all the running here and there, we always manage to have a good time. I never have as much fun as when A is at my side...or goofing off in front of the camera.

We decorated both inside and outside the house. Gone are the horrid inflatable snowman and penguins of years past and A has been replacing  them with the retro plastic decorations. She finally added a snowman, but I think she's most proud of Santa in his sleigh.

Earlier this month our foster pup, Shecky, was adopted to a home in Illinois. He lived with us for 4 months.

As far as puppies go, he was pretty sedate and a great cuddlier but we were happy to see him move onto a forever home. That of course didn't stop me from crying most of the 5 hour drive to Madison, Wisconsin and back; questioning if I'm really cut out to be a foster and asking myself how many more times can I upset myself like this. By the time I got home, Shecky had arrived at his new home and I had an email waiting from his new mama. It was love at first sight and I know he's now spoiled beyond belief. That makes the tears worth it.


I spent 2 weekends as a volunteer for our rescue taking pet photos with Santa at PetSmart. A came along one day as Santa's dedicated Elf.

It's a great fund-raiser; they supply all the equipment and then give us 50% for every photo. I was really excited about it and had so much fun! There's no doubt that there is work involved and I have a lot of respect for the professionals who do it everyday...pets or kids. Overall most pet-parents were great (with the exception of one lady who thought it was her own personal photo shoot) and we successfully got a good picture of every pet we tried. We even had some chins show up that were adopted through our rescue.

A and I spent Christmas Eve with our dear friends, JK and Faye, eating a drinking entirely too much. Christmas morning we slept late and when the dogs finally convinced us to get up, we turned on the TV to the Yule Log and drank mimosas with breakfast.

Later we hosted dinner for my mom and then today it was a celebration with A's family. 

Since we were going to be so busy all weekend, it was easy to rationalize opening our gifts on the 23rd. This year A and I planned a low-key holiday but that usually doesn't apply when we're buying gifts for each other. I had my little list of things I would like to receive but A completely surprised my with 2 big gifts.

I have a love--weakness---addiction to purses. You can imagine how much I fell in love with these Kelly Moore bags at first sight. The amazing thing is that these are not purses but a line of camera bags designed by a photographer to NOT look like camera bags. There's a collection of different colors and styles but I just haven't been able to let myself spend the cash. I haven't mentioned or looked at these in months but A remembered and to my surprise picked out the exact bag in the exact color I wanted! It's that beautiful blue bag in the picture above. Then she surprised me again with a new camera lens. I feel truly grateful for having such a sweet and thoughtful person to share my life with...even if I did have to scold her a bit. I think she spoils me too much.

Sickly trees, snow and decorating disasters...the season is upon us.

Free to good home: one sadly neglected ficus tree. I really think it could have a chance of survival living with someone who watered it regularly, rotated it to receive some better sunlight (and help it grow evenly), and I can't even remember the last time it was fertilized. Poor thing is probably root-bound in that pot. Included is the very stylish piece of cardboard to keep the dogs out of the dirt.

At this point, and in honor of the season, I think it may bear some resemblance to the famous Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I've been around. I'm a terrible blogger and a terrible commenter to boot. I know a lot of people take a hiatus this time of year. I often have the urge to write but by the time I can sit down either I've forgotten what I want to say or I'm just too damn tired. Sometimes I feel I've lost my voice here...like my writing sounds stiff and impersonal-not my real voice. Does that make sense? Well it is the early morning hours so just humor me if it doesn't. Okay I guess I will chat about what's going on around here.

A little over a week ago we had our first snow and I'm happy to report it was gone in a few days. It stuck around long enough to get my newest fosters out to experience it.

I know Shecky looks pathetic but it was the first snow of his life and within a few minutes he was running and rolling in the yard like a madman.

And Suzannah bucking and kicking in the snow...well what can I say about this wacky girl. 

Thanksgiving was a quiet and stress-free affair. As A and I prepared dinner for my mom and her boyfriend, I realized that this is the first time in I don't know how many years that I actually feel in the mood for the holiday season. 

But I guess if the Grinch's heart can grow 10xs, mine can expand just a little bit. 
I even went out shopping on Black Friday for the first time ever. Yes, I was a Black Friday virgin. I admit it was a short shopping excursion; drive to the store, straight to the items on my list, cashier and back to the car. It wasn't too crazy at the speciality store I went to and well worth the trip to save $80 on the one item that A really wanted. I wisely avoided the craziness of Target, Walmart or Best Buy.


This past Saturday is traditionally when A starts decorating for Christmas. Here she is using tree parts as antlers and chasing the dogs. What can I say but I pretty much let her do anything to keep herself entertained.

A couple years ago I had to suffer through those horrendous inflatable decorations in my yard but last year, A started buying the retro blow-mold decorations. She found several in antique stores and at the flea market but this year they are back in fashion and can be purchased everywhere. 
So meet Vernon the snowman.

Seat-belted in for safety on the way home from the store. I think he looks just a little psycho.

A proudly getting ready to put Vern out in the yard with Santa. 


I have to admit that we both spent our Sunday feeling blue. After putting the tree together, A started looking for the lights to put on it. They were not in any of the boxes she had here. We have a small house and rent a storage unit about a mile away. We don't store anything of much value there; it's just a place to put the summer stuff in the winter and vice versa. A went there to double check and nothing. That's when we realized we were missing an entire container of decorations not just lights. We remembered that last winter A had found the lock cut off our unit 3 times. Each time she had looked around inside and didn't notice anything missing. 


Who in the hell steals only a container with "X-Mas Decorations" written on it?! The heartbreaking part is that box contained sentimental, handmade and one of a kind ornaments; it was full of memories. Through our years together, A and I have given each other and collected ornaments when traveling or objects that symbolized special moments. There were ones I had an artist paint of the dogs and childhood ones that are simply irreplaceable. Every year we crack a bottle of wine, decorate the tree and reminisce. Not everything is gone since we had multiple containers but some of the most special items were in that box. For me this is devastating and even A shed a few angry tears. 


I realize it's really not the end of the world-a lot worse things could  happen, but it's hard for someone as sentimental as I am and I just had to spend a little time feeling sad. We did pick up a few new things when we were out shopping today and later this week when we finally decorate, we will crack a bottle of wine and toast to making some new memories. (Who am I trying to kid?  I'm still damn pissed!)

Triggered

I am a stress-induced emotional eater. I almost feel like I should be standing in front of a crowd. "Hello, my name is Mel. I have a stress eating problem". 


Food is comfort and I of course love, love, LOVE carbs-bread is my absolute weakness. I have been doing well the last few months but Monday morning I was triggered. I woke up to sick dogs, a mess in the house, a mess on my bed from a dirty dog butt, no working dryer and 5 dogs that needed baths because they were such a mess. Aghhh!


When things had finally settled down, I innocently opened the freezer to get some ice and spotted it; that box of candy my mom had given us last spring. Trying to be good, I had shoved it in the freezer without opening it and all these months it has sat hidden from view behind bags of veggies. Monday I ripped into it and down the rabbit hole I fell. The carbs/sugars are like crack and I'm the biggest addict. 

Lets see, 2 days home from work, multiple pots of coffee and gone one box of candy, a loaf of bread, frozen cookie dough, potato chips, animal crackers plus an unplanned trip to the grocery store to satisfy my craving for Pop-Tarts and chocolate-cherry ice cream. Now this is in addition to the wonderful cooking and "real" food that A cooks up around here. 


And sadly the holiday season is not truly here yet. I better go make another cup of tea and try to convince myself that I really don't want just one more bowl of ice cream. What am I saying? Fuck the bowl, just eat it straight from the tub.