Monday, June 28, 2010

So much going on and so little time at home. I've been a bad blogger; stopping by but not commenting much. This month has been a blur and A and I are looking forward to finally relaxing at home the next few weeks. Saturday was the final wedding I had to attend this summer. I can't help but feel guilty for sneaking out at 9pm. It was the wedding of a longtime friend and they are a really fun couple but I just wasn't feeling it. I've partied, drank and danced until I have nothing left. Maybe I can blame it on atmospheric disturbances. Afterall, we've spent the last 2 nights in the basement waiting out tornado warnings and severe thunderstorms that gave the most incredible lightening shows and thunder crashing that shook the entire house.  In fact Saturday night I drove my ass right into tornado warnings, heavy rain and lightening strikes all around just to get home...I know, I know, but the pups were home alone and I really didn't realize how bad it was until I was in the middle of it all. Damn Twin Cities radio stations seem to consider it more important to keep the Saturday night dance mix going than update people on the weather situation.

In all actuality, my mood had more to do with A and I having our own atmospheric disturbance. We've known about this wedding for months and that she was going to be on-call this weekend. Usually that is no problem and sometimes she has to go in for an hour or two, but most things can be handled over the phone. Friday afternoon I was talking to her on the phone as I was driving home and she receives a call from her boss. They are short staffed Saturday evening and she has to go in and work 2-10pm. Seriously?!! I admit I was mad....more like I was fucking nuclear pissed. But I also knew it was out of her hands so instead of ranting and raving about it, I was silent. Whenever she talked about it, I said nothing. We went to a graduation party, she apologized more and I clenched my jaw. I woke up Saturday morning in a funk with a headache and a knot under my shoulder blade...I know better than to sleep angry. That funky mood turns into bickering, then me crying and her making the comment as she was leaving, "sorry I disappointed you." Now that statement sent me straight into rage because now I'm the bitch for being upset. I finally pulled my shit together enough to get to the wedding and reception and had an enjoyable time but my world just isn't right when we are not right with each other. As I drove home through the storm, I finally found a radio station with some news and heard a tornado was on the ground and heading in the direction of  the town where A was working. All I could do was kick myself for acting so childish and pray to the universe that she and our pups at home would be safe. It all turned out okay and when she arrived home much later, she found me, 6 dogs and 2 cats in the bed downstairs chillin' by candlelight and waiting for power to come back on.

I think we've both been pretty lucky lately.


Ms. Moon said...

Long love is not easy love, just because it's long. We continue to learn, continue to struggle, continue to come out the other end, loving more.
Be careful in those storms, dear Mel.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Glad you two are both okay. Shit happens. Clearly A loves you to bits.

Love you.