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Thursday, September 9, 2010

laundry

Around here, we have our "chores"...Mel is in charge of laundry, and I do dishes. Tonight, my washer woman was at it again. Usually, you wear your clothes, take 'em off and throw them into the hamper at the end of the day, right? Not here. I am hunted down for the clothing on my back, and ordered to strip, and put my clothes in the wash. Sometimes, she's forceful: "get those clothes off, NOW, and get 'em in the machine". I must be bucking it too much, because tonight it was this:
M: "are you gonna get into your pajamas soon?"
A: "not right now" (I can smell bleach wafting up from the laundry room, so I know she's up to something)
M: "well, I think you should put 'em on" (she's eyeing my clothes)
A: "I just put this on!"
M: "well, I'm doing a load of whites, and I want the white clothing you have on"
A: "can't I pee first?"
M: "NO!"
Now, I'm moving a little bit slowly this evening due to moving a large load of bricks out of the back of the pickup, and my back is feeling the bite, plus I got the damned limp back, so, I'm not moving FAST ENOUGH.......
M: "why are you limping?"
A: "because my back is sore and my leg is numb"
M: "well, I'll help you get into your pajamas"
(I'm thinking, hmmmmmmm....this could be a fun laundry night) she herds me down to the basement......
"M: "ok, what do you wanna wear? shorts or pants?"
AND PROCEEDS TO STRIP ME DOWN, AND SHE WANTS ALL OF IT, ALL OF IT AND DO IT NOW BECAUSE THE DAMNED WASHER IS RUNNING AND YOU'RE TOO  SLOW AND THAT MEANS THE T-SHIRT, TOO, AND LETS SEE WHAT UNDERPANTS YOU HAVE ON OH I DON'T WANT THOSE BECAUSE I'M DOING A LOAD OF WHITES GET 'EM IN, GET 'EM IN NOW!!!!!!
One time, I had just put on a clean t-shirt, wore it for 2 hours, only to be ordered to PUT IT IN THE MACHINE.
I see my future. I'm gonna be the old, demented bag that fights to keep an outfit on after wearing it for a month, and she's gonna be the one stripping me....and saying, "don't fight me, 'cuz you'll never win".
And dammit, she's right.

3 comments:

Jude said...

So having a cute and spunky blue eyed Femme demanding you to remove your clothing isn't a problem, right? ;)

crystal said...

I would start taking her fork as she is eating so you can wash it.....just saying!! :)

kym said...

What can we do? :-) Ha...cute post.