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Monday, March 29, 2010

Keepsakes of Relationships Past

Several months ago A and I were cleaning out closets and going through boxes. She pulled a box of keepsakes out and we were going through it looking at photos (and laughing at hair), reading old letters and saved cards. She then pulled out a wooden plaque, looked at it and then quickly shoved it back in the box. My curiousity was peaked. When I asked what is was she looked down and just said it was a poem written for her by one of her exes.

The backstory on this is that when A was around 20-21years old, she was in love with this woman Kris who was dating A's friend and roommate. Kris had feelings for A too but chose to stay in the relationship with A's friend. When the school year ended so did Kris's relationship and she returned home to South Dakota for the summer. Since A had no plans, Kris invited her to come along. Basically they had one summer together but when they returned to college in the fall, Kris went back to her ex and A had her heart broken. During that summer Kris had written her the poem and had it put on this plaque.

All these years she had kept it because it was a special memory. Kris was her first love and her first heartache. She had hidden it from her ex, Mimi, because she would get so angry and jealous about it and in turn she had hidden it from me too. She told me she would get rid of it if I wanted her to. My response was absolutely not! I actaully insisted that she set it out.

I have keepsakes of relationships past too. It certainly doesn't devalue my relationship now. Those things don't mean I love A any less. They are just momentos and happy memories and sometimes painful heartbreak memories too. All my past relationships have shaped the person I am today-the good, the bad, and the ugly. I don't want to waste my time being jealous over the past. I just want to embrace the love I have now.

12 comments:

dykeevolution said...

Agreed. All of the past moments bring you to where you are - right here, right now. That's usually worth celebrating :)

Jude said...

Mel, you are an amazing woman.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

You are right, Mel. Your view is very mature, and I think you are pretty great.

Hope the dad situation is going better for you. You have been in my thoughts.

StarGazer said...

Mel, you are a beautiful woman! and yes it was a very mature way to look at it. I love your outlook on life! :)

C.I.W. said...

What a great topic! I have kept things like that as well, and it wasn't until recently I thought... what the hell am I doing? (I had a LOT). I threw it all out.

For me, it was cleansing.

I wouldn't mind it if Mic had stuff though-- mine was a personal decision.

You are a wonderful pair, you two. :)

shane rocket said...

whatever brought her to you isn't a bad thing so those memories shouldn't be either...

2momswithaplan said...

Aw! It sounds like a nicholas sparks story - summer love that ends in heartache. *sigh*

When Holly and I first got together I found a naked picture of her ex in a stack of other pictures... that was one memory of girlfriend's past that I didn't want her to keep. If it had been a plaque or something like A's memory then I probably would have felt different. :)

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Naked pictures! Now that is where I draw the line. I'm tolerant but not quite that much.

lightfeather said...

That is so evolved. Sometimes I think I am there and then poof! It goes away! Thanks for sharing that now. We have a garage full of stuff that needs tending and have put if off since neither one of us has been ready to pull the lid off of the Pandora's box.

jelly said...

That is so mature and good of you...what a great couple the two of you are.

Bethany said...

wonderful attitude mel.
a is so sweet and sentimental.
i'm sure that's one of the many reasons you adore her.

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