Friday, October 2, 2009

Miss Scarlett, Miss Scarlett, The Yankee's are Coming!

Not really the Yankees, but the ex-gf of A.

I came home from work yesterday afternoon and A tells me she received an email from the ex telling us she and her partner are going to be in our town Saturday and would like to stop in at our house. That's right, they invited themselves to our home. A being the gracious host she always is told them to stop in for coffee and gave them directions. Me, being my usual suspicious self, told A they are just coming to snoop. She just laughed, gave me a hug and agreed.

I've been cleaning for hours. I have been to their home and it's not spectacular or neat, but I want our home to be spotless when they arrive. I have even been shampooing carpets! I keep asking myself why I'm so nuts right now about having our home just so when they arrive. We have a small modest house and it is certainly nothing spectacular either, but it is OUR home. We purchased it together and have spent the last 8 years remodeling from the inside out, floor to ceiling.

A's ex spent many years criticizing and belittling her; she always wanted to live beyond what A could provide and never let her forget it. She has made a couple comments about how the second wife gets all the good stuff, good vacations, house, etc. Yes, maybe we have more than they did but we are both professionals who work full-time and have earned everything we have ourselves; no handouts from anyone. I'm not going to feel guilty about it and I will not let A feel guilty either!

A's ex has now met a woman who can finance the life she wanted to live all along. They have a child together, just adopted a second, bought the old Victorian house and she gets to be a stay-at-home mom (no offense to stay-at-home moms-I know it's work).

I just love A so much and I don't want her feeling like she is any less than the wonderful. beautiful person I know she is. I am fiercely protective of her, especially when it comes to this ex. I know I'm likely getting myself worked up for nothing; the visit will go fine but I like to be prepared. My guard is up...Now I will finish my cleaning.


two cat scene said...

eek, I'd be freaking out too. It's hard to not play that comparison game. Stop and take a breath and put it in perspective. For all you know she's looking at the life you two have and thinking how wonderful it is-- not that you don't live in a big house with an expanding family.
good luck (don't forget to clean under the bathroom sink!) ;)

tommy said...

A is lucky to have you and I think it's great that you want her to realize and never forget how wonderfully fabulous she is...Hopefully the ex won't pull any shit while she's in town as far as mind games go...nothing wrong with your guard being up...just remember to smile and have fun at the same time... I guess I'm lucky in the sense that Jen's ex lives across the country and they really aren't on "hanging out" much less speaking terms so I don't have to worry about catching a charge anytime soon :) lol. Good luck... I'm sure the house looks and smells great...

StarGazer said...

Aww you are so sweet Mel. I wouldn't even worry about it. If her ex wants to make the comparisons, that's her problem, because you two sound like you're very happy and content, and you should take pride in that. I can't wait to hear about their visit!

Jen said...

I hope the visit went well and there wasn't any reason to fret!