Friday, October 30, 2009

I'm Feeling Sentimental Today

I've been feeling really down and stressed this week. I'm sure it is the combination of the stress from my father, my psycho fighting family and PMS on top of it all. It's left me in a very negative state of mind; not my normal self. The bitches in my office have not been helping my mood and therefore I have turned into a terror at work. Since everything coming out of my mouth has been negative lately, I've resorted to hardly speaking at all during work but I think my disgust shows on my face. An even bigger part of my bad mood/attitude problem is just a lack of time at home and most importantly a lack of time with A. Her mood has been similair to mine and I've actually felt pity for the people who work for her. During these times I tend to go to my "happy place"; become reflective on the good things in my life and become somewhat sentimental.

Last night we just had to have a re-connect night. We met for dinner then came home, cuddled with the dogs for awhile then went sneaking away to our bed. It was so nice to just cuddle up under the covers and feel her arms around me. Instantly, the world was good again and I felt all my tension melt away. It is good to have someone to feel that close to and comfortable with. There is no need to talk. It is good to just be. After a 1/2 hour lying there I feel like I've been on vacation for a week.

Last night we were talking about 8 years ago we closed on this house and moved in together. For the first two years we had seperate apartments. A wanted to do the lesbian thing and move in right away but I resisted. We had both come out of relationships during that year and I really just wanted to live on my own for awhile. It's too easy to move onto the next relationship and bury all the baggage from the last one. Then 6 months into it, when the excitement wears off the baggage resurfaces and explodes (speaking from experience here). As good as everything was I just didn't want ot ruin it by moving in too fast. My relationship with A felt stable and good and the cynic in me didn't trust that that bottom would not fall out. We worked together, travelled and did the back and forth thing for years. After a 10 day road trip/camping trip without trouble and just a few months before our second anniversary I finally agreed it was time to move in. We were both in the position where our leases were almost up and we were tired of our apartments, so we decided to buy a house. We closed October 29th and started moving in on October 30th. It was an easy transition and we've been very happy here together. Looking back if I had to do it again, I would do things just the same.


Dawg said...

Things work out eventually eh?

Great post, ty, exactly what I needed to read today.

Ang said...

Awesome post....You and A give me hope :)

C.I.W. said...

Isn't it great to have an opportunity to re-group, especially when it means there are arms around you --

LOVE this post! thanks for sharing!!

Jen said...

That's awesome. Glad you were able to reconnect and congrats on the anniversary!

tommy said...

I've been out of blog world for several days... I hope that your "reconnection" helped over the past few days... PMS is bound to have disappeared by now and hopefully all is well. I'm glad that you have someone wonderful like A in your life :) I'm about to hit one year with jen this weekend... always seems like just yesterday... I hope that I'm as happy as you in ten :)

Bethany said...

Great blog.
Hope you're feeling better.